Just do it with love.

Time to Celebrate :)

2011-06-25T20:38:00.001+08:00

Congratulations Trina,

I think it's really over this time :)

WOOT!!!!!

With love,

your self-respect

Twenty Four.

2011-06-14T00:19:00.003+08:00

Happy birthday to me.

I wonder why that was my reaction though. Hmmmm

Happy 24th to myself! Make it count okay?

With love,

Trina

Happy birthday to me

Happy birthday

Happy birthday to me!

ONE.

2011-01-02T01:51:00.000+08:00

HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYBODY :)

Stop callin', stop callin', I don't wanna talk anymore.

2010-07-21T00:57:00.001+08:00

"Some women choose to follow men, and some women choose to follow their dreams. If you're wondering which way to go, remember that your career will never wake up and tell you that it doesn't love you anymore."

-From Ms. "Stop telephonin' me" herself, Ms. Lady Gaga

~*~*~*~~*~*~*

Thanks to Patty (My college friend) for the quote :)

The NOT rules.

2010-07-06T03:11:00.003+08:00

Today/tonight/this morning...whichever one you want to choose because it's all true...I missed writing. I missed writing so much that I thought of something to write about. I went to school, had a test, thought about a topic. Had lunch and while I was in the middle of biting into my banana, I thought of a topic. Now it's 3:13 and still I have nothing.

I guess the moral of the story is that you shouldn't force anything. I've known that all my life.

Not with your kids, not with your parents, not with your friends, not with career choice, most especially not with love.

Missing this.

2010-07-06T02:36:00.005+08:00

The following are excerpts which I found interesting from a blog that I often visited:

1. The Speed of Feeling:

"Now you've gone to fast, you made me leave me behind."

2. The Reminders in the Sky:

"You are the distance between the way things are and the way I want them to be."

3. The Taking of Turns:

"You are in songs that still get played on the radio when the DJ is feeling nostalgic.

You are in a book you once lent me (never returned) with yellowed pages.

You are in trees when I touch them, even ones without names carved into them.

You are the way someone on the street laughs as I pass them.

You are in a box I keep filled with letters.

You are in a ring I no longer wear.

And, every day, you each get a moment to haunt me."

4. The Ratio of Life and Living:

"Oh sure, some people give a little bit each day. But there are one or two special souls who, when you least expect it, give an entire life's worth all at once.

5. The List of Changes:

"We can answer any question we have, like how do actors make themselves cry, so we never sit in wonder and wonder at the wonder of the world anymore.

And anything we watch can be paused, so we never argue about what just happened while we were talking anymore.

We cannot hope that we might have just missed their call, because our phones are always with us and if they didn't call, they didn't call.

No protests in the streets, just a button marked 'like'.

No one reads stories aloud, unless you are a child.

No letters. Just bills."

6. The Universe is Arrogant:

"You know that feeling you get when everything goes perfectly, constantly and nothing's ever wrong with anyone or anything? Me neither."

Here's to being a year older.

2010-06-14T00:01:00.003+08:00

Happy birthday to me :)

CHEERS!

I'm writing a letter of some sorts.

2010-02-17T03:39:00.004+08:00

Tonight, as of 9:27pm I have finally finished a book from cover to cover after weeks of trying to get my hands on it.

"Dear John," the letter read. And with those two words, a heart was broken and two lives changed forever.

I immediately wanted to write something after reading it, so here I am pouring my thoughts onto my 14" Compaq.

How should I describe a book such as this one? I've never really written a book review with much consideration. Not until I was in high school of course when we needed to do it for class. I've always been a lover of books, and always in my vocabulary means ever since I was in high school. Maybe it was due to the poems we were required to read, or the short stories that we discussed in class...I can't quite pin point the exact reason or time, but ever since then I've been a “bookaholic”

DEAR JOHN.

I guess it's safe to say that it was different. I can’t seem to classify it as a typical love story, but at the same time it somewhat fits into that category. A not so typical love story meaning it only happens to a quarter of a margin of people living on this earth, but typical in a sense that it's possible to have happened in fiction, on paper, in hopes and in dreams. I'm not going to give away too much, especially because I'm sure a lot of you are planning to read this book because of the film about to be released. But I do want to say a few things.

The book, was very Nicholas Sparks. He always had a mind that worked in a way that could conjure scenarios that make people (especially girls) go “I wish for a love exactly like that.” He was the first author that actually touched my heart, made it ache, make me want to cry and laugh at the same time and of course believe in love. He made my tear ducts dry up after reading “A walk to remember”, believe in old love with “Nights in Rodanthe”, trust time with it’s healing powers in “Message in a Bottle”, and of course simply believe in good old L.O.V.E. with his ever romantic “The Notebook”. Hell he was even the first man who made my dad cry by the pool side while reading the last book I mentioned.

Did I like it? For the most part, I did. It touched me in just the right places and was able to re-surface just the right emotions. It didn’t strike me too much as maudlin or over rated. It was lukewarm, and wonderful. I’ve somewhat have been a believer of love at first sight and having read about the love story of John and Savannah has made it easier to do so. In real life, I hardly hear stories which start with “When we locked eyes, I knew instantly…” or “Yes, it was truly love at first sight.” So having read this book gives me a little bit of hope that it might be possible to have something like it or at least something to that effect.

After reading this book, it made me realize a couple of reasons why I love to read. I do feel bad (I’m not sure if it’s the right word) for people who think of reading as a task rather than as leisure. I guess it’s all a matter of perspective. But as a lover of books it amazes me how a story, an author or even just one line from a chapter of a book can transport you to different places. I love how different words can be strung together and evoke such strong emotions you never thought you’d have. By reading, I feel more human in a way where I realize to what extent something can affect me. I like testing myself at times, and discoveries are always good. So whenever something from a book strikes me, whether it may be a line, a paragraph, in the blurb or even in the dedication, I always pause and think about why it struck me. By doing this, I get to know myself more and realize where I stand in life.

It’s also nice to know that even if in reality some things are not achievable, it’s possible to just live vicariously through characters that have been conjured up by such talented authors. For at least a day or two, or a week even…you get lost in a world where anything is possible. You get to go on adventures, or suddenly have magical powers. You get to fall in love and dream and be different. It’s such a great catharsis, and of course an awesome way to exercise your mind and widen your vocabulary.

I’ve always known that I’ve read a good book when I can’t seem to part ways with it. It’s as if the end of the book signifies the end of my relationship with the characters. It’s the way I felt when Harry said goodbye to Clare in “The Time Travelers Wife” (Audrey Niffiniger), my heart broke the same time Erik’s did when Stargirl Callaway moved to another city in “Star Girl” and the way I wanted to be different and lovable during the final pages of “Love, Stargirl” (both by Jerry Spinelli). It’s the way I knew the words “For you a thousand times over” would affect me differently after reading “The Kite Runner” by Khaled Hosseini. How I was for certain that Noah and Allie would be together wherever they were in "The Notebook", and yes even how Harry, Ron and Hermionie would be able to save the magical world. With a good book, Shakespeare was right in saying “parting is such sweet sorrow.” It’s so hard to let go because the characters seem to have been part of your life, and when their heart breaks… yours does too. When they receive good news, its as if you want to jump for joy and celebrate with them.

I’m very glad that I had 2 days off my busy schedule to be able to read. And I’m happy as well that the book I chose didn’t disappoint me. I’m pretty excited for the movie, although I’m sure that there will be some slight differences. I’m just hoping that it doesn't disappoint. It’s weird how the book is almost always so much better than the movie (except for P.S. I love you). Anyway, Channing Tatum is there…at least there’s some eye candy J

I hope children now a days get the hang of reading. I hope that one day they get to feel the way I feel whenever I’m immersed in a good book.

I absolutely can’t wait to find another book, which will make it impossible for me to put down because of its awesomeness. I am waiting for the day when a line or a paragraph or the whole book will make my heart ache because I know that the ending is near. I can’t wait to find a good read that would distress me and make me feel all sorts of wonderful and beautiful.

Till then, I shall live in the memory of John and Savannah, bask in their love for each other and the their fondness for the full moon.

I knew when we collided

you're the one that I decided

to blow my mind.

TWENTY-TEN.

2010-01-10T04:01:00.004+08:00

The beginning of this entry was written on December 31, 2009 (Up until the ~*~*~*~). I just wasn't able to post it.

Here we are again, standing on the brink of an almost end and a new beginning. Another year has come and gone, and I feel as if it's time for me to take a look back on the 12 months that has gone by.

As unbelievable as it seems, time has passed by so quickly. back in June, I was about to embark on a new journey which was my post grad studies (medicine), and it seems as if I just closed my eyes for a few seconds and when I opened them again...December was waiting to engulf me with all it's Christmas spirit.

Has it already been 6 months?

I guess the calendars, Christmas gifts, and even the weather has given me enough evidence to believe so.

~*~*~*~*~

It is now January 10, 2010 (I like pronouncing this year as TWENTY-TEN, because it sounds better this way), the plentiful fireworks have been lit, the alcohol content in our body has shot up to an extra 80%(at least) and back down again, and for sure more than a handful of people have made their new year's resolution.

I've always wondered why people wait for start of a new year to make a positive change, but anyway I too am guilty of practicing such an old habit of the human race.

Last years resolutions were quite a lot:

*BE HAPPY!
*Never settle for less than perfect (sometimes)
*Never settle period.
*Do your best in everything
*Love yourself first. Seriously.
*Be of service for others.
*Dress up and look good for yourself :)

Obviously 2008 was a year filled with emotional drama. 2009 on the other hand can be comparable to a normal day. Nothing extra extraordinary, just...okay. So here are my 2010 resolutions.

*This year will be amazing. I will do at least one thing that I will never ever forget doing.

*Buy a new camera!

*Take more videos

*Do my best in everything I do (still)

*Be of service for others (still)

*Be grateful for everything that I have

*Always love.

*Forgive and Forget

*Fall in love

I know it's stupid to believe in jinxing your resolutions because you said them out loud. But that doesn't mean I don't believe in it...sort of. Although right now, I'd like to believe with all my heart, that because I said it allowed, I declared, I wrote it down...it will have more impact in my life.

2010, I'm hoping you'll be a kick ass year. Please don't let me down (:

With love,

Trina

I'll end this with a mash up of the top 25 songs of 2009, because music is just love.

Hmmm whatcha say?

The one about being thankful.

2009-11-28T00:10:00.000+08:00

I believe that I have to put a disclaimer in this entry before I begin.

I am 22 years old, a first year medical student, and is 100% (plus or minus 10%) Filipino.

With that said, here we go.

Yesterday (November 26, 2009), a holiday which I consider to be very important was celebrated by the other half of the world. It isn't a holiday which we Filipinos celebrate, because it just isn't part of our history. Although this is so, it's as important to me as it is to the Americans.

Yes, I'm talking about the holiday that's celebrated during the last Thursday of November...

Thanksgiving.

It all started when I was 7 years old, an airplane virgin who was about to embark on her first family trip which entailed more than 4 hours of flying time. I remember how much I dreamt about that day because my boring life was sure to be filled with fun activities that a normal 7 year old would love. There was Disneyworld and Universal Studios in Orlando, the FAO Schwartz in New York, Golden gate in San Francisco, random fun hotels in Las Vagas (sadly, no slot machine yet)... etc. etc. I'm sure you get the picture.

But out of all these activities, one of the most memorable ones happened in a place called Philadelphia.

Believe me when I say that I expected Philly to be the most boring state to visit. All we were going to do there was visit my Lola's sister (Tita Doya) and her American Husband (Uncle Charlie) whome I both adore deeply. We were going to stay there for a good week, and they had already arranged my 7 day stay. It included the words Apple picking, pumpking carving, and national parks. Sounds interesting right? Not really if you put yourself in my situation (7 years old and all). You would absolutely dread the very thought of this part of the vacation because you could actually die of boredome. Just imagine, no roller coasters to ride, no caramel covered apple candies, no autograph signing from Mickey and the gang! Just plain old picking fruits and vegetables.

So the first day in Philly came and went.

So did the second, and the third.

On the fourth day (the apple picking and pumpkin carving day), by late afternoon I was already tired from choosing apples and placing them in barrels, and carving sad faces on pumpkins. I swore to myself that I would never eat another piece of apple, or pumpkin till the day I died. I was dead set on crawling into bed and sleeping till it was time to leave for the next state. But as I was formulating my "escape" plan in my head, Tita Doya told me that she had prepared something special for me during dinner. All I kept thinking was, please don't let it it be apple strudel or pumpkin pie. I mean, what else would she have done with all those fruits and vegetables?

We were finally called from our room for dinner, and I was dragging my feet half expecting to see at least 3 kinds of apple dishes and 4 kinds of pumpkin pies. But as I entered their dining room, I was absolutely overwhelmed with what I saw.

Their dining table was filled with all sorts of Thanksgiving-y food! There were candied yams which were golden brown and slightly burnt. It was topped off with marshmallows that turned gooey and slid down the sides of the serving dish (just the way I like it). There were mashed potatoes with a hint of garlic and loads of butter which was served in a big bow. Right beside it was the stuffing made out of bread soaked in the turkey base, dried fruit, seasonings, and bread crumbs. Bread pudding made from scratch was already served on our plates individually. Soft rolls fresh out of the oven were placed in a weaved basket. Of course there was cranberry sauce which smelled heavenly, gravy and rice pilaf. And right smack in the center of it all... there was laying in all it's glory...a turkey that looked as if it weighed 10 pounds, oven baked to perfection.

It was beautiful.

And so my family explained how they wanted me to experience a traditional Thanksgiving dinner. They even told me about the Pilgrims and the Indinas, and yes...the famous rock, and how both exchanged a little bit about their culture.

Now I don't really remember the events which lead to this holiday. I don't even know if both parties had ended well. But I was sure, that from that day on...my family would be celebrating this holiday annually.

It was a nice feeling, seeing everyone laugh over good food and great company. We were all there exchanging stories, and memories. Each of us even gave a small speech about what we were thankful for. On that day, I was thankful for family and for my parents who were bent on taking me to Philadelphia. It ended up to be one of the best states in my own version of America's map.

I know you're thinking that it's not common to find a child experiencing a strong connection with her family at such a young age. But there I was, thinking about an escape plan 2 hours ago without knowing that the Thanksgiving dinner we were having would make me who I am today: A person who despite all the chaos in the world, does not forget to be thankful for what she has.

I think it's wonderful to have a holiday which will remind us to be grateful every now and then. It's so difficult now a days to find a single thing to be thankful for. With the busy lives that we lead (may it be with work or school or MEDSCHOOL!) and the problems we encounter, we find that it is so much easier to point out the mistakes and difficulties that we are faced with, rather than to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

Sometimes we forget that there is beauty in the breakdown, that life has so much to offer, that we are loved, that we deserve to be loved, and that you're doing okay, because despite all the crappy things thrown at you...you are alive and is capable of doing good.

Let me give you a little bit of homework. After reading this entry, I'd like you to take a moment and think of at least ONE thing that you are greatful for (if you can think of five, or even a hundred...then all the better).

My name is Trina, I am 22 years old, a medical student and 100% (plus or minus 10%) Filipino.

I am thankful for:

1. My family
2. My friends
3. being able to follow my passion
4. For music
5. For life.

What're you thankful for?

P.S. Our desserts during dinner were pumpkin pie and apple strudel. No kidding. :)

There's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be a uphill battle
Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose
Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb

Someone like you. And all you know. And how you speak.

2009-11-24T16:28:00.001+08:00

You know that I can
Use somebody.
Someone like you.

One year na. Tama na.

2009-11-24T15:53:00.001+08:00

I am absolutely loving this song right now.

So, how's your halo?

Mmm watcha say, that you only meant well?
Well of course you did.
Mmmm watcha say, that it's all for the best?
Because it is.

I"m a sininer. I'm a saint.

2009-11-18T03:36:00.001+08:00

So, what did I get out of that?

Forgive me father for I have sinned. Fuck.

The "Learn you inside out" day.

2009-10-27T01:04:00.004+08:00

I miss writing. Sometimes I feel like I have nothing to write about. Most of the time I know that there're so many thing that I can talk about with everything that's been happening in my life now, but I get to lazy so I don't.

So all I'm trying to say is.

I miss writing. I miss writing well. I miss writing. I miss reading what I wrote after writing it. I miss thinking "I'd like to look back on this someday" after reading what I wrote. I miss smiling after thinking "I'd like to look back on this someday".

I'm sure you get my point now.

I miss. But I am okay. And that's what's important

BeeTeeDoubleYou: Summer and all the 500 days Tom spent with her was awesome :)

Oh and check this out, they published my work again :)

http://opinion.inquirer.net/inquireropinion/columns/view/20091024-231973/To-my-little-brother

No I can't fight this feeling anymore.
I've forgotten what I started fighting for.
Baby I can't fight this feeling anymore.

Is this the goodbye song?

2009-09-04T22:52:00.003+08:00

September 4, 2009.

It's been a month and 3 days since my last post. I swore to myself that I would never be this idle. At least a couple, maybe even just 2? But so far, I haven't got time to do things. Maybe I've been too preoccupied being the Trina that I am. Anyway, blogger...I have missed you.

A found a quote that sort of describes me. Okay, who am I kidding. This is who I am. But I'm not sure I'd want to be this person anymore.

"So if you can't stay, walk away slowly. Rip the plaster off bit by bit, piece by piece. Because I'd rather feel that than nothing at all. "

She'll be the teacher. You be the subject. I'll be the observer. Let's do this.

I dont ever want to feel
Like I did that day
Take me to the place I love
Take me all the way

.

2009-08-01T17:22:00.000+08:00

When something is worth doing, then it's worth doing well.

The prayer.

2009-07-30T23:42:00.000+08:00

Jess,

please?

Amen.

The truth as I know it.

2009-07-30T23:21:00.003+08:00

"I burnt my tongue on you. Now I've lost all sense of taste. Or decency."
-Secret Blog

An hour of talking to you is equivalent to me losing a whole day. Ever since the commotion, we've talked for 7 times for over an hour or less. That means I've lost 7 days. I've lost a week, a whole week which I could've used for something else, for something productive.

It would've been fine if it was worth it. But it isn't. Not even close to being worth something.

I'm very tired, and angry (at you, at myself).

Fare thee well.

We got too excited for our own good.

2009-07-23T01:58:00.003+08:00

I've had a lot of questions swimming in my head ever since I could start thinking. I am a thinker, and it's a curse and a gift all at once. This time, I'd like to know just one thing...at least for now I just need to know the answer to this...

Where do the strong go?

When Train wrote another one of those "I can describe how you are feeling from point A to point Z" songs did they really know the answer to this question?

"Hey wait hey don't you know this is where the strong will go on"

Where do the strong go on? I'm done waiting. Tell me right about...now.

You were my ticket out of here
And I was your dream come true.
You gave me everything I wanted.
Except........

On writing your own tragedy.

2009-07-21T03:30:00.006+08:00

I'm sure I've mentioned it before, how beautiful songs that mean so much to you end up becoming the very tune you wouldn't want to hear. I hate how it gets tainted with awful memories when situations become nasty, but at the same time...you can't stop listening to it over and over when you're on a certain high.

I'm saying this because it's one of those times when I do have to tuck away a piece of myself in a particular song and keep it on the down low for awhile. It's just a thing that I go through. Whenever a moment arises (for the good or the better), I associate them with certain songs. And if and when those moments come to an end, I feel like I have to bury a part of myself with it. Either I never dig up the grave I put that tune into or I take it out when I'm ready.

There's a reason why For Blue Skies is one of my favorite songs, and I've mentioned it before. It's pure, and honest. It has everything and nothing in it's whole 6 minutes and 32 seconds of being. I have loved this song like a child who has found the most precious sea shell on the ocean. I hold it with both hands, gingerly, not wanting it to shatter into pieces with the slightest movement. I place it on a velvet lined box which is easily accessible, but safe from harm.

As of the moment, I am in need of recuperating. I am in need of time apart from this song, because if I do listen to it...I just won't feel the same joy I feel whenever it's beat starts to emerge. I'd feel as if I have betrayed the song, because everything that it talks about is something that I can not do.

Just like the first line of the song...it really has been a long year. And I think it's time to just forget.

I can't listen to it, and feel it in its entirety. Not yet.

So goodbye for now. I'm sure when I'm ready, I'll pull you out from where I've hid you and feel the very essence of your message once again.

I'll most definitely miss you.

~~I forgive you~~

Truth be told I miss you. Truth be told I'm lying.

2009-07-20T06:38:00.003+08:00

When you see my face
I hope it gives you hell, I hope it gives you hell
When you walk my way
I hope it gives you hell, I hope it gives you hell
If you find a man that's worth the damn and treats you well
Then he's a fool you're just as well hope it gives you hell
Hope it gives you hell
Tomorrow you'll be thinking to yourself
Where did it all go wrong?
But the list goes on and on

I can go on and on fucker. Watch me.

Enough.

2009-07-06T00:30:00.007+08:00

It usually takes me a short time to believe in something, especially if there are so many proofs to back it up. But for some weird reason, it took me quite awhile to believe that

"Some people never change."

I know that one of the reasons for believing so was that I didn't want to put myself to shame because I believed in you so much. Because I wanted you to change for the better...for me.

But now, I can finally say that this is it. That this is really it. This is the grand finale, the (not so) teary farewell. The end of a "relationship" gone sour.

Don't you realize that the things you do affect other people as well?

I can't even be friends with you anymore. Truth be told, we were never really friends in the beginning. At least not to the point that I would actually truly enjoy our conversations. We'd be civil, sure...and that's fine.

Just, try to stay away from me. No, I'm not being mean or angry. I'm not even angry anymore. I'm just doing something that I should've done a long time ago. I'm finally putting my foot down. I'm finally telling you that this, whatever it is...has reached its limit.

Enough already.

I don't need people like you in my life. At least not the you I know right now.

The things you do to me, to the others, and most especially to her are not flattering. It's not something that I enjoy or get giddy about.

I'm a person. Not a sport. So please, enough of the freaky business already.

Please don't talk to me the way you do, because I am not that kind of girl.
It's despicable.
You are despicable.

It's amazing how a situation which happened for less than an hour can change how I felt for almost a year now. It was like living in the dark for the longest time, and then a light switched is flicked...and there it is. The clear cut sign that you've been waiting for.

The fog has lifted.

So goodbye. For real this time.

P.S. I'm really glad that this is how our story turned out to be. Despite all the pain and tears I went through with you, I'm truly happy that I'm a me, without a you. Thank you.

Everything does happen for a reason.

Goodbye, nice to know you.

P.S. hahaha

2009-07-05T03:29:00.003+08:00

So that's how it feels like.

It actually feels kinda nice :)

Good job Trina!

P.S. (Let's leave it at that) haha!

It's a beautiful day!

A singer once said...

2009-06-29T19:40:00.001+08:00

SHUT UP AND PUT YOUR MONEY WHERE YOUR MOUTH IS.

She was right.

Something old. Something new. Nothing borrowed.

2009-06-28T22:10:00.002+08:00

New blog :)

ALL HEART.

I'm still probably going to use this, depending on my mood.

Keep up, I'd love that.

We can make it
real big,
real than you've
ever wanted!

He can't stay, and she knows it.

2009-06-27T18:41:00.009+08:00

Pull my heart strings why don't you:

But because truly being here is so much; because everything here apparently needs us, this fleeting world, which in some strange way keeps calling to us. Us, the most fleeting of it all.

-from The Ninth Duino Elegy.

Cue in "Broken" by Lifehouse. (Somehow this movie also reminds me of the song "Come Home" by One Republic feat. Sara Bareilles.)

Perfect?
I'd think so.

For the first time in a long time, I think that the movie would be up to par with the book written oh so heart wrenching-ly beautiful by Ms. Niffineger. I'm re-reading the book once more just to ready myself in case I have forgotten. Funny and absurd that I should do that because, a wonderful piece of fiction such as this isn't easily erased from your thoughts.

August 14.
I've marked the date. Center of the theater, Row J, with a cheesy beef Jamaican patty, hot English tea from Starbucks, and a huge wad of Kleenex.

I'm ready.

The broken lights on the freeway
left me here alone
I may have lost my way now,
haven't forgotten my way home
I'm holding on.
I'm barely holding on to you.

Breathe Slow.

2009-06-27T08:45:00.009+08:00

I just realized this morning, as I was listening to "Nice to Know You (Goodbye)", that when I made the decision last night to help myself and to accept the challenge....it also entailed that I was going to lose the two guys that my heart actually yearned for.

8:40am

Good frickin' morning.

Breathe Slow- Alesha Dixon

Feels like what?

2009-06-26T16:43:00.005+08:00

Like I said, sometimes the acoustic version of a song will be the best rendition that ever "walked" this earth :)

Post Script: HAPPY 27th ANNIVERSARY TO MY MOTHER AND FATHER!!! :D I LOVE YOU BOTH SUPER!

Remember telling my boys that
I'd never fall in love, love, love, love
You used to think I'd never find a girl
I could trust, trust, trust, trust
And then you walked into my life
and it was all about us, us, us, us
But now I'm sitting here thinking
I messed the whole thing up, up, up, up

Hello world, hope you're listening.

2009-06-26T16:13:00.005+08:00

As I was skimming through some Michael Jackson videos on youtube I came across Adam Lambert's version of "COME HOME" by One Republic and then I stumbled upon this song which I have loved for the longest time:

THE SONG, THE MUSIC, MOST ESPECIALLY LYRICS has touched me in so many ways. And now that Sarah Bareilles is in it, I think I've fallen in love with it even more.

Music, you're so beautiful.
Sara B...pure genius.

I get lost in the beauty
Of everything i see
The world ain't as half as bad
As they paint it to be

For the King of Pop, masterpieces and unbelievable talent.

2009-06-26T15:48:00.003+08:00

John Mayer: I think we'll mourn his loss as well as the loss of ourselves as children listening to Thriller on the record player. Dazed in the studio. A major strand of our cultural DNA has left us. RIP MJ.

Amen.

I want to love you
P.Y.T.
Pretty young thing.

A letter filled with semi unrequited love.

2009-06-22T20:43:00.001+08:00

Dear Biochem,

Love me naman oh.

With love,

Trina

P.S. Please?

We've got the
dreamer's disease.
Don't let go.

Let's make a pact.

2009-06-20T09:55:00.003+08:00

June 18, 2009. In the middle of all the glory of Biochemistry.

"Funny how it's still you. Somehow, it's still you. I don't just hate that. I REALLY...hate that"

Not as much. Much much less than a fraction...but it still is you. Somehow. In a way. Despite how measly it may seem. Still you.

LET'S DO ONE YEAR SHALL WE?

Please let me do just one year.

I loved you with
a fire red,
now it's turning blue.
but wait.

HIATUS!!!!

2009-06-19T18:35:00.003+08:00

I am officially back! I have been on a facebook/blogspot/twitter/yahoo messenger hiatus due to my love for the study of Medicine, but now I have na my own net here in my very own tiny house. YAHOO!!!

I am studying/reading/stressing out every single day so far, so I've been thinking of making a "It's time to study, reach for your dreams" sort of playlist.

If you've got suggestions, hit me up okay?

Thanks super!

With Love,

Me.

I got a chip on my shoulder
Hugged my mum and I told her
With chance I've been given
I'm gonna be driven as hell.

On music...what else? :)

2009-06-12T02:08:00.003+08:00

Mr. Gabe Bondoc, how do you do it?

You just made my heart smile :) Thank you.

DROPS OF JUPITER...EH EH YEAH!

You've got 20? :)

So that when I'm older.

2009-06-10T05:39:00.003+08:00

RULES: Once you've been tagged, you are supposed to copy-paste this note, and answer all the questions. At the end, choose 15 people to be tagged - including the person who tagged you. (To do this, go to “notes” under tabs (+) on your profile page, paste these instructions in the body of the note, paste the questions, answer the questions, tag 15 people (in the right hand corner of the app) then click publish.)

ABC About You Questions:

A - AVAILABLE: Very.
B - BIRTHDAY: The 14th of June
C - CRUSHING ON: Nick Carter still.
D - DRINK YOU LAST HAD: Good ol' H2O
E - EASIEST PERSON TO TALK TO: Franessa Blanco.
F - FAVORITE SONG: As of the moment, Knock You Down- Ms. Keri.
G - GUMMY BEARS OR GUMMY WORMS: Both ;)
H - HOMETOWN: Paranaque PI.
I - IN LOVE WITH: Music.
J - JUGGLE: I'd like to juggle medschool and extra cur. activities.
K - KILLED SOMEONE: hell no.
L - LONGEST CAR RIDE: From New York To Buffalo. Crazy drive!
M- MILKSHAKE FLAVOR: Strawberry.
N - NUMBER OF SIBLINGS: Un
O - ONE WISH: That I graduate medicine without any failures.
P - PERSON YOU CALLED LAST: 8-700 Jollibee delivery.
R- REASON TO SMILE: life.
S - SONG YOU LAST HEARD: "Baby I love your way" -Bob Marley
T - TIME YOU WOKE UP: 2:40pm. It's freaking gross.
U - UNDERWEAR COLOR/PATTERN: Tidy whities.
V - VEGETABLE(S): Yes please.
W - WORST HABIT: Over thinking, yet at the same time...jumping into things.
X - X-RAYS YOU'VE HAD: laods.
Y - YOYOS ARE: according to merriam-webster.com:

1. a thick grooved double disk with a string attached to its center axle that is made to fall and rise to the hand by unwinding and rewinding on the string

2. a condition or situation marked by regular fluctuations from one extreme to another

3. a stupid or foolish person

*Take your pic. Personally, I like what's behind door number 3.

Z - ZODIAC SIGN: The twins.

Random Questions About You:

Spell your name without vowels: Kthryn Nn Lrnzna
What color do you wear most? Gray, black, white
Least favorite color? furfel.
What are you listening to? "Collide"- Dishwalla
Are you happy with your life right now? Pwede na. I hate that answer.
What is your favorite class in school? Probably Anatomy. I may be wrong though.
When do you start back at school/college? June 15
Are you outgoing? Yes

Favorite pair of shoes? Right now it's a tie between my floral pumps from BCBGirl ooooorrrr my floral printed H&M flats.
Where do you wish you were right now? In my own clinic in a well known hospital, after graduating Neurosurgery with flying colors. WOW.

THE CANS:

Can you dance? Ummm.
Can you tie a cherry stem with your mouth? Let's find out ;) haha
Can you whistle? Yar.
Write with both hands? Nope
Walk with your toes curled? i just tried, and i can semi do it.

THE DO'S:

Do you believe there is life on other planets? still debating.
Do you believe in miracles? A hundred percent yes.
Do you believe in magic? Yes :)
Love at first sight? Si
Do you believe in Satan? :s mhmmm.
Do you believe in Santa? I'd like to. It'll bring me joy.
Do you know how to swim? A bit.
Do you like roller coasters? Pwede na.
Do you think you could handle the stuff they eat on those reality shows? basta no frogs.

THE HAVES:

Have you ever been on a plane? Yup
Have you ever asked someone out? Yup
Have you ever been asked out by someone? Yup
Have you ever been to the ocean? Yeah
Have you ever painted your nails? Every 2 weeks.

THE WHATS:

What is the temperature outside? very very hot.
What was the last restaurant you ate at? Does take out count? If so Jollibee. If not Dencio's.
What was the last thing you bought? chicken joy.
What was the last thing on TV you watched? Erin Brockovitch. (TAMAD TO FIND THE CORRECT SPELLING!)

THE WHOS:

Who was the last person you IM'd? Angelo Wong.
Who was the last person you took a picture of? Fidel V. Ramos. YAY!
Who was the last person you said I love you to? My mum.

CRYING SECTION:

Ever really cried your heart out: Yeah.
Ever cried yourself to sleep? Once lang.
Ever cried on your friend's shoulder? Yup.
Ever cried over the opposite sex?: Yeah.
Do you cry when you get an injury? Not really.
Do certain songs make you cry? Haha starting notes palang, I'm bawling na. HAHA

HAPPY SECTION.

Are you a happy person? Yeah, despite what others say. haha
What can make you happy? It's the simple things in life we forget :)
Do you wish you were happier? Yeah.
Can music make you happy? Most definitely.

LOVE SECTION.

How many times have you had your heart broken? None.
Have you ever loved someone so much that you'd die for them? Yeah.

LOOK AT ME.

What is your current hair color? Medium Brown
Current piercings? Ear piercings.
Have any tattoos? No
Eye color? Brown. Not dark brown. Brown.

IN A BOY:

Favorite eye color: Blue. Brown.
Short or long hair: Basta not kalbo or even remotely close to kalbo.
Height: Tall!
Best clothing: The best sports jackets please.

HAVE YOU EVER

Been to jail: Nope
Mooned someone: Nope.
Ran away from home: I pretended to.
Laughed so hard you cried: All the time!
Cried in school: Yeah.
Thrown up in a store: Nope
Done something really stupid that you still laugh at today: HAHAHAHAAHHAAHAH nuff' said.
Gone skinny dipping: nope

THIS OR THAT

Pepsi or Coke: Dr. Pepper.
McDonald's or Burger King: Mickey D's.
Single or Group Dates: Single
Chocolate or Vanilla: Chocolate.
Strawberries or Blueberries: strawberries
Meat or Veggies: Both.
TV or Movie: Both
Guitar or Drums?: Guitar.
Adidas or Nike: Nike.
Chinese or Mexican: chinese
Cheerios or Corn Flakes: Special K nalang.
Cake or Pie: Cake!
MTV or VH1: Music Television.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

I can't wait to look back on this entry after a few years, months, or even just weeks. There are probably some things that'll change within that time limit. And I'm pretty interested to find out how different I was.

I'd like to think it's time to sleep. Yeah.

We met Jose.

2009-06-09T06:00:00.007+08:00

It's 6:10 in the morning, so I'll probably expound on it later. Probably.

Another night out with my best friends in the world.

So we really did meet Jose. And right after that...the rest was history.

We want Patron
Tequila,
Me and my mama sita.

I have a theory:

2009-06-09T00:41:00.007+08:00

Musicians whose first name starts with the letter "J" and whose last name starts with the letter "M" are fantastic.

I'm listening to Jason Mraz right now. Truthfully, there's never a day that goes by that I don't, because that would just be very un-trina like. And because right now I am on another one of those, what do you call them? "music highs"? That I would like to say a few words.

Mr. Geek in the Pink...You are so fan-freakin'-tastic. Good Job :)

(Thank you to music and lyrics for the image)

Also if you'd like to download new songs... do try the following:

1. Details in the Fabric -Jason Mraz ft. James Morrison
-It's an instant pick you upper!

2. Try, Try, Try, -Jason Mraz
-Just because he's amazing.

from a new find of mine (thanks best)

3. Breathe Slow -Alesha Dixon

and lastly,

4. Liar Liar -Girlicioius

Because it's healthy to be ditzy like this every once in awhile

i know i gave you everything you like
　　because you still give me butterflies
　　if we just try try try
　　just to be ni-ni-nice
　　then the world would be a better place for you and I
　　if we just live our lives
　　putting our differences aside
　　oh that would be so beautiful to me

It feels so damn good.

2009-06-07T21:07:00.003+08:00

I can't get over how amazing this song is. I've loved it for the longest time, now I wanna share it with YOU ;)

It's a shorter version, there's a bridge pa after. But still, all is g-double O-D GOOD!

Take note.

2009-06-07T19:49:00.003+08:00

"There is magic even here, in gridlock, in loneliness, in too much work, in late nights gone on too long, in shopping trolleys with broken wheels, in boredom, in tax returns, the same magic that made a man write about a princess that slept until she was kissed, long golden hair draped over a balcony and fingers pricked with needles. There is magic even here, in potholes along back-country roads, in not having the right change (you pat your pockets), arriving late and missing the last train home, the same magic that caused a woman in France to think that God spoke to her, that made another sit down at the front of a bus and refuse to move, that lead a man to think that maybe the world wasn't flat and the moon could be walked upon by human feet. There is magic. Even here. In office cubicles."

-Secret Blog.

I have got to seriously remember this. Of course mine wouldn't end with the words "In office cubicles." Mine would end with "In medical school".

Class of 2013, T-minus 8 days till lift off.

Here we fucking go.

Penny for your thoughts :)

2009-06-05T00:43:00.002+08:00

I FINALLY FIXED THE COMMENT PART!!!!!

So please do comment. They're very much appreciated :)

And again, please check us out over at "Because I Am." Click, HERE to be directed to the page

Again, comments are welcomed there as well.

Do you want to get lost with us too?

2009-06-02T05:23:00.014+08:00

There's this "thing" that I do whenever I feel like I'm lost. May it be that I'm at a loss for the right words to say, or something deeper like losing my own sense of self. I do this often, not because I need to, but because let's just say --it's partly fun. My solution to finding myself again? It's very simple. I get lost even further.

I bet you're a bit confused so let me explain. What I meant by getting lost is that I get lost in the music. Whenever life throws me lemons, I don't make lemonade...heck I don't even make tequila! When life throws me lemons, I grab my i-pod, turn up the volume to 13, and get lost in the damn music.

I love how the melody rushes through my system, how the lyrics calm me down, or build me up, how the beat resonates in my body, and how for just five minutes, the world isn't the world... but is actually the world as I know it.

I adore how one song means the universe to my being, yet at the same time it means absolutely nothing to the person right next to me. It's amazing how it speaks to you in ways that only God and yourself can understand, and how everything just gets better after hearing a particular line or phrase in a song.

I believe that life is different for everybody. Pat recently mentioned that for him, life is like art. Others say life is falling madly in love. The rest say that life is a box of chocolates. My take on it is that life is definitely just like the music.

Everyone dances to a different tune, though sometimes two people find that they enjoy the same type of music. Some like it fast, some like it mellow, most are way too busy listening to the beat to the point that they miss the important message. Others, well others just like it the way it is.

We all have our different mechanisms for coping with life. For me, the best way is to listen to a song, turn up the volume, maybe dance your ass off a little bit...then get lost in it. And when you feel like you're ready, as the music comes to an end...you go and find yourself again.

Now, after reading what we've just written, we want to know your take on it.

Do you get lost in the music too?
Do you dance to a different beat?
Do you hear the same tune as we do?
How is life as you know it?

Welcome to Because I Am.

A blog which consists of people with different views on life and plenty to offer.

We're doing this for the people out there who just is...for people who want to get their voice heard, people who want the good to win over evil, and for people who just believe that there's something out there worth talking about.

Tell us what you think, because we pretty much believe that you are too.

Whenever I end my posts, I usually put a few lines from a song at the bottom right of the page, but for now let me end it with this...a song I more often than not choose to get lost into:

Tell me did the wind sweep you off your feet
Did you finally get the chance to dance along the light of day
And head back to the Milky Way
And tell me, did Venus blow your mind
Was it everything you wanted to find
And did you miss me while you were looking for yourself out there
-"Drops of Jupiter" by Train

So, do you want to get lost with us too?

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
This entry can be found HERE too :)

Please do check us out!!!! :)

Books and Shoes and fleeting happiness.

2009-05-28T17:06:00.002+08:00

Last night I spent time with my A39 family.
My "son" is doing so much better.
I had wonderful sushi for dinner.
I had wonderful sushi for lunch.
I will have my mani ped done tomorrow.
The box came in.
I have three new books.
I have three new pairs of shoes.

I AM HAPPY :)

Because I Am.

2009-05-27T05:23:00.005+08:00

I haven't slept (I know what you're thinking, what's new right?), I'm hungry, and I'm facing a very long day ahead of me. But here's the thing...I'm feeling perfectly energized to the point that I can just hop in the shower, go to school, go to ortigas, go to capitol, go back home, and still have the same amount of energy at the end of the day.

I'm about to contribute to something which I believe has a good cause. Kudos to my friend Pat Jamlang who is the genius of it all (you don't hear me dishing out compliments towards you often, so drink this one all up). We're starting a new blog for the love of writing, for the love of people, for the love of randomness, and most especially for the love of life.

That's probably the explanation to my fantastic feeling. Don't you just love that certain sensation you get whenever you're excited about doing something new? Or having that passion for something you just love? This is something like that. Wait, scratch that...this is exactly like that.

So this is for everyone who just is. For everyone who wants to get their voice heard. For people who want the good to win over the evil. And for everyone who just believe that there's something out there worth talking about.

Coming soon ---> Because...I Am.

please do check it out :)

Lets paint the town
We’ll shut it down
Let’s burn the roof
and then we’ll do it again

Someday.

2009-05-26T00:29:00.002+08:00

"Making love was never about you and me in a bed. We made love whenever we held hands."

It's things like these that enable me to feel and be alive.

Dear owner of my secret blog,
You're a sheer poet.

With love,
Me.

Turn down the lights, turn down the bed
Turn down these voices inside my head
Lay down with me, tell me no lies
Just hold me close, dont patronize -
dont patronize me

The magic word.

2009-05-25T23:48:00.003+08:00

I'll tell you the truth so close to your lips it'll taste like a lie. There's a tongue in my mouth. It matters. This fucking matters.

The only thing that works is the truth and you are the hardest truth to tell.

So kiss like you give a damn.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

What is it with me and the damned word DAMN?! Every time I hear it, or see it in a sentence it gives me the shivers. HAHA That sounds so weird, but it really does.

DAMN DAMN DAMN!

Use it correctly, and damnit...I'm yours.

Somewhere only we know.

2009-05-25T22:49:00.001+08:00

I want that too.

And if you have a minute
why don't we go
somewhere only we know.

.

2009-05-20T02:41:00.001+08:00

I know I said no regrets. And it still holds true.

But I should've said yes to coffee. I really should've.

~~I miss you a bit. And I hate that I do~~

The art of words.

2009-05-20T02:10:00.001+08:00

I want/need to buy a new book.
I need to get back into reading. I miss that.

Post Script: Denver in 6. Seriously. haha

Romeo, Juliet and the King of Spain.

2009-05-18T22:09:00.010+08:00

Oh music...this is why I am so in love with you!!!!!!!!! :)

Dear Jess, please tell your father to make more talented people like Jon Schmidt and his friend. They make people happy. Amen :)

And like Icarus I collide.

2009-05-18T18:50:00.004+08:00

Can I just say...

SOBRANG GALING! :)

I'm so proud of everyone. Good job my lovers :)

Masaya ako. Masaya talaga.

Konting high? SOBRANG HIGH!!!!

All the days songs.
Traditional!
Palanca!!
Lullaby!!!

Maybe you would've been something I was good at.

2009-05-17T12:56:00.005+08:00

It's funny how some things come to existence.

How thoughts are formulated just be a whiff of a certain scent, or a glimpse of a person who's far across on the other side of the room. How sometimes when you think too much (because I am the queen of attention to detail), you don't get the answer or solution you've been looking for, but in the middle of all the chaos and stupidity of the world, you see the light at the end of the tunnel.

Can we go back to the time I talked about how sadness can be beautiful?

I witnessed it again last Thursday, yesterday, and early this morning...and whenever that happens, I just feel so...awesome! I try to understand why the world can be such a crappy place sometimes, how people can take injustice, and heartbroken-ness, parental frustrations and the evil that just is. At times, I don't get it because the bad that's evident outweighs the good, and at times you can't even grasp for anything to keep your head above the surface.

Here comes the beauty of it all. If you think about it, really think about it...when you chose to, to get angry and then let out that frustration...you allow yourself to fight the pain that's building up around you. Whether you let it out in a hard cry, a frantic scream, or even sometimes...just sometimes you choose to love loud.

I'm speaking this way because I was in a "rutty" situation too just recently and I've been stressed, and frustrated, and feeling unappreciated. But last thursday, while I was hanging out with my friends, in the middle of all the smoke, the fifi shots, and the wonderful music by an amazing band called Overtone, I felt alive. After hearing a certain song which my friends and I started to scream out loud, I felt alive.

I've heard the song for the longest time already, but being the music freak that I am, I get that it affects you at different stages of your life. In this stage in my life, I have found it. I found my "Love song for no one" through the Kings of Leon. Because I really think I could use somebody, who'd want to use somebody like me. Since I got home, I haven't stopped listening to it. It's beautiful.

Two days ago, I watched the season ender of one of my favorite TV shows (Grey's Anatomy). It shocked me to my very core that it actually sent shivers all over my body. It was nicely done, and very unexpected which made it even more deserving of a golden globe.

There's a part in the 23rd episode (if i'm not mistaken) where all the surgeons in trauma were just so damn frustrated. Almost all their patients were killed, the miracle patient of the onchologist was dying on her watch, and izzy still had cancer. They were all so down and depressed, to the point that they questioned why they still do what they do. Bailey, being the strong woman that she is brought them out and showed them one patient. A patient whom all the doctors thought had no chance to fight for life. A child who was sick with something so rare, that there was nothing left to do but die. And he was alive after an operation, and the JOY was eminating from his parents faces, and from his face, because he knew deep down in his heart, that he had something to fight for once again.

That's why they do what they do. Because of the joy.

I know I digress, but my point is, I get that in the midst of drowning out in all the pain and turmoils of the world, one good thing allows you to remember the rest of the good things in life.

I think it's amazing how it takes a looooot of shit for us to be fucking depressed, while it only takes one tiny silver lining to make everything okay. Now I believe that that is the beauty in the sadness.

It's funny how some things come into existence.

How thoughts are formulated just be a whiff of a certain scent, or a glimpse of a person who's far across on the other side of the room. How sometimes when you think too much, you don't get the answer or solution you've been looking for, but in the middle of all the chaos and stupidity of the world, you see the light at the end of the tunnel.

I found mine in the midst of smoke, and friends.
I found it in the lyrics of a song I've known for quite awhile now.
I found it in the middle of sipping my 7th glass of margarita
I found it in a conversation between two people.

I found the beauty in the strangest places you can ever imagine.
But I found it.
And personally that right there, is pretty damn beautiful.

Someone like you
and all you know
and how you speak.
You know that I can use somebody.

Say what you need to say.

2009-05-17T06:18:00.001+08:00

SAY IT LIKE IT IS.

Excuse me Mrs. Busybody.

2009-05-17T02:18:00.005+08:00

More on the J. Man. Just because I think he's an absolute genius.

Sucker (Live Acoustic) - John Mayer

Sometimes, I wish that I was the weather
You'd bring me up in conversation forever
And when it rained, I'd be the talk of the day

Oh, sometimes I wish that I was a cold beer
I'd rest assured that you would hold me near
I'd be guaranteed to be just what you need

CHORUS

And there could be no other way, 'cause you're so, you're so lame
Your tired words are all, they're all the same
Yeah I would walk and I'd surely walk away
If I wasn't such a sucker for you

Sometimes, I wish that I was a bong hit
You'd let me in and you would love every minute
And tell the room the things I did to you...

Oh and there could be no other way, 'cause you're so lame
Your tired words are all, your tired words are all the same
Yeah I would walk you know I'd surely walk away
If I wasn't such a sucker for you

I see your world with rosey-colored glasses on
Wanna right what I see wrong
I could never have that power over you

Someday, I'm gonna pack up and leave this town
I'm gonna get my own things goin' on
And when I do, I'll forget
I'll forget
I'll forget about how, how you're so, you're so lame
Your tired words are all, your tired words are all the same
And I would walk you know I'd, I'd walk away
If I wasn't such a sucker for you
I wasn't such a sucker for you
I wasn't such a sucker for you

Man on the Side - John Mayer

six numbers, one more to dial
before I'm before you
I tried to call
been busy all night
gave up waiting at daylight

excuse me Mrs. Busybody
could you pencil me in when you can
though we both know that the worst part about it
is I would be free when you wanted me
if you wanted me

ohhhhh...
I am the man on the side
hoping you'll make up your mind
I am the one who will swallow his pride
life as the man on the side

one of the many
one of the few
to stand back and wait for you

excuse me Mrs. Busybody
could you pencil me in when you can
though we both know that the worst part about it
is I would be free when you wanted me
if you wanted me, if you wanted me

ohhhh...
I am the man on the side
hoping you'll make up your mind
I am the one who will swallow his pride
Life as the man on the side
Life as the man on the side

I fell in love with the dream that I built of you
playing the part of the queen
taking my own advice
I'm giving up tonight
good luck to you and the king

excuse me Mrs. Busybody
could you pencil me in
though we both know that the worst part about it
is I would be free when you wanted me
if you wanted me, if you wanted me

ohhhhh....
I am the man on the side
hoping you'll make up your mind
I am the one who will swallow his pride
life as the man
you know life as the man
living life as the man on the side

In Your Atmosphere - John Mayer

I don't think I'm gonna go to LA anymore
I don't think I'm gonna go to LA anymore
I don't know how to land and not race to your door
I don't think I'm gonna go to LA anymore

I don't think I'm gonna go to LA anymore
I'm not sure that I really ever could
Hold on to your hotel key in your
Bedroom neighborhood
be sleep-walking in Hollywood

I'm gonna steer clear
Burn up in your atmosphere
I'm gonna steer clear
Cause I'd die if I saw you
I'd die if I didn't see you there
So I don't think I'm gonna go to LA anymore

I don't think I'm gonna go to LA anymore
I get lost on the boulevard at night
Without your voice to tell me I love you, take a right
the ten and the two is the loneliest sight

I'm gonna steer clear
Burn up in your atmosphere
I'm gonna steer clear
Cause I'd die if I saw you
I'd die if I didn't see you

I'm gonna steer clear, oh yeah
Burn up in your atmosphere here
I'm gonna steer clear
Cause I'd die if I saw you
I'd die if I didn't see you there
see you there

I think I'm gonna stay gonna stay in the gray think I'm gonna stay
And all the street lights say nevermind nevermind
All the canyon lines say nevermind
Sunset says we see this all the time, nevermind, never you mind.

Where ever I go
Whatever I do
I wonder where I am I wonder where I am
In relation to you
Where ever you go
Where ever you are
I watch your life play out in pictures from afar
Where ever you go
Whatever I do I wonder where I am
In my relationship to you
Wherever you go
Where ever you are
I watch that pretty life play out in pictures from afar

Friendships. Music. and the other loves of my life.

2009-05-17T02:05:00.003+08:00

I found a new blog which I absolutely adore (Thanks to you gummybear :D).

It's cute, and it's very me. It's such a darling blog :)

Finding things like these make me happy! It's just the perfect way to end a day of bonding with best friends.

Alex, Anne, Mia...I love you guys...and I missed you :)

Never. Forget. Ever.

2009-05-15T21:59:00.006+08:00

There's this famous line in one of my favorite TV programs that goes

"How many moments in life can you point to and say,
That's when it all changed'?"

Well let me tell myself right now, and jot it down so I will remember...that at this very moment, I am certain that I know when it all changed.

As of May 15, 2009. At 10:01PM, I will remember...ALWAYS.

Honestly, it makes me sad. Because I know how important family really is. I know how a lot of people yearn to be really close to their parents, cousins, and other relatives. I've experienced it, and loved it, and am very grateful to have been able to do so.

But I guess that's just the way life goes.

So from now on. Even during my happiest times, I will be sad. No matter how long it has been, or how strong I have held my faith in believing that this is just the way it is... I will cry, and wish it wasn't so.

I'll miss us.

But I will remember that conversation we had that hurt me so badly for the rest of my life.

I will learn from it, and maybe even one day thank you.

I will remember.

And I pray to God, that you remember this day as well, and
NEVER
EVER
forget.

Post Script:
Didn't your mother ever teach you how to accept a person wholeheartedly?

MINE DID.

You know I'm a dancing machine.

2009-05-12T23:23:00.002+08:00

A couple of my favorite songs these past few days.

Revelry by Kings of Leon

What a night for a dance, you know I'm a dancing machine
With the fire in my bones and the sweet taste of kerosene
I get lost in the light so high don't wanna come down
To face the loss of the good thing that i have found

Woo hoo hoo
Woo hoo hoo

In the dark of the night I can hear you calling my name
With the hardest of hearts I still feel full of pain
So I drink and I smoke and I ask you if *you're* ever around
Even though it was me who drove us right in the ground

See the time we shared it was precious to me
But all the while I was dreaming of revelry

Gonna run baby run like a stream down a mountainside
With the wind at my back I won't ever even bat an eye
Just know it was you all along who had a hold of my heart
But the demon and me was the best of friends from the start

So the time we shared it was precious to me
All the while I was dreaming of revelry
Dreaming of revelry

And I told myself for the way you go, it rained so hard it felt like snow
Everything came tumbling down on me
In the back of the woods in the dark of the night
Palest of the old moonlight
Everything just felt so incomplete

Dreaming of revelry
Dreaming of revelry
Dreaming of revelry
Dreaming of revelry

I Do Not Hook Up by Kelly Clarkson

Oh, sweetheart, put the bottle down
You've got too much talent
I see you through those bloodshot eyes
There's a cure, you've found it
Slow motion, sparks
You've caught that chill
Now don't deny it
But boys will be boys
Oh, yes, they will
They don't wanna define it
Just give up the game and get into me
If you're looking for thrills then get cold feet

Oh, no I do not hook up, up I go slow
So if you want me, I don't come cheap
Keep your hand in my hand,
Your heart on your sleeve
Oh, no I do not hook up, up I fall deep
Cause the more that you try, the harder I'll fight
To say goodnight

I can't cook no, but I can clean
Up the mess she left
Lay your head down and feel the beat
As I kiss your forehead
This may not last but this is now
So love the one you're with
You wanna chase but you're chasin' your tail
A quick fix won't ever get you well

Oh, no I do not hook up, up I go slow
So if you want me, I don't come cheap
Keep your hand in my hand,
Your heart on your sleeve
Oh, no I do not hook up, up I fall deep
Cause the more that you try, the harder I'll fight
To say...

Cause I feel
The distance
Between us
Could be over
With the snap of your finger
Oh no!

Oh, no I do not hook up, up I go slow
So if you want me, I don't come cheap
Keep your hand in my hand,
Your heart on your sleeve
Oh, no I do not hook up, up I fall deep
Cause the more that you try, the harder I'll fight
To say...
Cause the more that you try, the harder I'll fight
To say goodnight

Oh, sweetheart, put the bottle down

Cause you don't wanna miss out

There's something about the look in your eyes.

2009-05-12T13:43:00.004+08:00

SUBLIME.

STELLAR.

SUBLIME.

STELLAR.

SUBLIME.

STELLAR.

I absolutely love these words for reasons further than beauty and awe can explain :)

There's only 1 way
2 say
these 3 words.

It's in the thinking.

2009-05-12T04:13:00.003+08:00

~~I wonder if we'll ever reach a hundred.~~

~~I really do.~~

~~And I should'nt even bother.~~

I'm editing this on May 14, 2009 at 12:29 am

This entry was stupid. Still, no regrets :)

When did your heart go missing?

2009-05-11T12:59:00.004+08:00

According to my mother...

I have no heart.

That surely sounded ~~wonderful~~ in my ears.

This deserves
a dramatic song
which I can't think
of right now.
Winner. haha

Strike two.

2009-05-02T13:01:00.002+08:00

“Sometimes I wish that I was the weather, you'd bring me up in conversation forever. And when it rained, I'd be the talk of the day.”

-Mr. J. Mayer, once again.

I know that I can

be somebody.

Definitely the something.

2009-05-02T10:54:00.005+08:00

I'll keep this entry short and meaningful.

I saw this post from the secret blog that I referred to before:

"Learn four new things everyday.
Something about yourself.
Something about the people you love.
Something about the world.
And something about a stranger."

This would've been a beautiful resolution for the new year. But who ever said the year had to be new to start an amazing habit?

Come on Trina, let's start...NOW.

Do you feel like a man when you push her around?

Do you feel better now as she falls to the ground?

Well I'll tell you my friend,

one day this world's going to end

as your lies crumble down, a new life she has found.

Check THIS out. haah

2009-05-01T02:05:00.001+08:00

You have got to be kidding me.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J66CFY8cTr0

Westlife. What're you doing? hahahahaa

It's not the storm before the calm.

2009-04-30T16:49:00.005+08:00

In life, you'll always hear people quoting great women and men who lived because the things they say hold some true sense in them. Like when you're attempting to do too much, you hear the "You can't have your cake and eat it too" speach. Or when something doesn't go your way there's the "When God closes a door, he always opens a window". More ofthen than not, you hear the famous "There are plenty of fish in the sea" after your heart has broken, and "The higher you rise, the harder you fall." Just because it feels good rolling off your tongue for some reason.

Out of all these worldy sayings, there's one that you hear at least a million and one times in your life. These oh so famous words would have to be...

"Honey, the only thing that's constant in life...is change"

I've been thinking about it, and for the most part I do believe that it's true. Things change. Seasons change. Feelings change. Trends change. etc etc etc.

But can a person really change?

Can a person really turn 180 degrees, and never even look back, or fall off the wagon?

Once a person changes for the better, does that mean that they're completely different from their old bad self?

I can name a few people I know that attest to the fact that "No one really changes who they are". That's who they are, accept and move on.

If change is really constant, how come it's so hard for someone to change who they are especially if it will benefit other people or the situation that they're in?

I'm still not sure which part I believe, or if it's even possible to change and still be who you are. Or if it's achievable to change, and never be who you were before again. And honestly, that sort of scares me in a way I can't describe.

See although I am still quite unsure of where I stand...I have a theory.

I have a theory that as long as that person, or event, or thing, or moment, or what have you which became the tool for changing someone is present, they'll stay the way they are. Why shouldn't they? They have something that reminds them all the time why they chose to change. But once whatever person, or event, or thing or moment, or what have you is gone...the old self has a tendency to go back to what it used to be.

So really, if change is constant...and a bad person changes for the better, but ends up going back to being bad...did he/she really change? If not, then change isn't so constant then huh?

I'm sure I've confused you by now my poor friends and readers, and it's 5 in the morning which makes my thinking all muddy...but it's been a thought that's lingered in my mind.

So, I wanna know...if you have any, what's your theory on change?

I make the most of all the sadness

you'll be a bitch because you can

you try to hit me just to hurt me

so you leave me feelin dirty cuz you can't understand

The letter is L and the number is 43.

2009-04-30T13:49:00.003+08:00

I just have to say...

I MISS US :s

Details in the fabric

2009-04-27T15:24:00.002+08:00

It makes a lot of sense. It's funny. And I like it.

“People are like boxes of colors. Sometimes you meet the standard 16 count. I like to consider myself the 64 count box with the sharpener in the back. Lately I've been meeting the jumbo 8 count kind. [then he goes on talk about how there are so many subtle colors that not everyone takes the time to notice...] Its like your talking to someone about magenta and she says 'Oh, purple. I know that game' and you’re like ‘no bitch I'm talking about magenta!"

-Mr. J. Mayer

If it's a broken part, replace it

But, if it's a broken arm then brace itI

f it's a broken heart then face it

I think it's time to go to Phoenix.

2009-04-20T14:34:00.002+08:00

Hot Dayum! Check this link out that my friend showed me.

As a future doctor, I advise you NOT to go through with it, but as a human being with natural cravings...try it at least once. haha

Heart Attack Restaurant:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zbKRSYAuSNg

Eat your heart out.

Driver, MOVE THAT BUS!!!!

2009-04-20T09:00:00.005+08:00

Extreme make over home edition makes me cry.

ALL THE TIME!

P.S. Happy Shopping day today :)

I swore I’d never fall again

But this don’t even feel like falling

Gravity can’t forget

to pull me back to the ground again

20! TWENTY! 20! TWENTY!

2009-04-18T14:18:00.001+08:00

20!!! 20!!! 20!!! 20!!! 20!!! 20!!!! 20!!!!

OKAY JESS?????

TWENTY!!! TWENTY!!! TWENTY!!! TWENTY!!! TWENTY!!!

TWENTY

K. thanks!

Guilty pleasures.

2009-04-18T13:05:00.003+08:00

I've been MTV.COM-ing almost the whole day, and I saw the season finale of The Hills after party, and Hilary duff was in it as well.

And let me tell you right now... It was just too much for my brain to handle

Lauren Conrad + Hilary Duff= Guilty Pleasrue!

Haaaaay I love you both, if that's even possible.

Okay, that was just another pink moment.

K.Bye haha

Ring-Ring-Hello?

2009-04-18T09:09:00.003+08:00

I've been residing in the highly revered United States of America for more than a month now, and we've been going back and forth from NY, Ohio, Chicago, Indianapolis back to Ohio, then finally back to NY once again. And so, the weird thing is...I wasn't able to charge my phone since it died, because somehow the USB connector that has never failed me back home chose to disappoint me at the very moment that I needed it (I realized how much of a run on sentence that is).

Due to the heavy travelling, my mother needed a cellphone so she could communicate with her ever loving brother Tito Bot. I know it seems as if I don't have a point, but I swear I do. Haha.

So we borrowed Tita Baby's purple tinted cellphone (which my mother absoultely adores), and was able to call back home every now and then.

Whilst the whole family was around the table having dinner we were wondering how people functioned without cellphones. I mean seriously now. How do people even find each other? haha

I'm so tamad to elaborate, but think about it...how did people get anywhere in a stress free manner without cellphones?

Please love me like David Ryan Harris would.

2009-04-17T02:43:00.008+08:00

A different rendition of one of my favorite songs by the talented artist.

You see, I'd want someone who would take the two and the thirty-five.
(By this time I'd be cooking you a feast which consisted of all your favorite dishes.)
I'd want someone who'd be on the train by 6:15.
(6:15 and I'd be freshly showered, smelling like my favorite CLEAN perfume which you love)
I'd want someone who knows that there are exactly 30 miles left to travel by vehicle.
(I'd be setting the table, lighting the candles, and playing the best kind of music)
And still, he needs to walk a few more semi-miles into my village.
(I'd be waiting by the window with a smile on my face)
And I want someone who reaches my garden gate, and memorizes the number of steps it takes to get to my red front door.
(19 to be exact. And there I am by the door, smiling like crazy)
And that someone will be totally thrilled to be with me.
(And for awhile we'd forget the dinner I cooked, the bottle of wine i opened, and that in a few hours he'd be leaving again)

Travel all this way :) Because of this song, I think Saturdays are the new Sundays. HAHA

This one is by Gabe Bondoc (who has got crazy vocals (I crush you)).

Enjoy.

For You
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b19zU8Lqehg

Lyrics of "For You"

http://www.metrolyrics.com/for-you-lyrics-david-ryan-harris.html

Somehow it doesn't want to embed. DAMNNNNNNNNNNN YOU, YOU TUBE!!!!! :(

P.S. I'm so pissed that they saved Matt in American Idol. Can anyone say...pitchy please?!

I wonder what it would be like

To go home with you tonight

Make a wish by candlelight

That we could make the morning wait a while

ICARL-EEEEEEE outrage!

2009-03-26T15:49:00.003+08:00

I just have to say it.

I am so addicted to ICARLY!!!! hahahaha

Oh and Beverly Hills 90210 (yes the old one), and fashion wars (sort off)

Last episode na. Promise? Nah I take back that promise. haha

So wake up the members of my nation

It's your time to be

There's no chance unless you take one

And it's timeto see the brighter side of every situation

Somethings are meant to be

So give it your best and leave the rest to me

I want you to hold me any way you can.

2009-03-26T11:02:00.010+08:00

Sara Bareilles has to be exposed more. I'm not sure if she's the lyricist, but her music is beautiful. So beautiful that it's sad. Apparently, I'm an expert of finding something so beautiful to the point that it becomes sad. Sometimes, I'd rather find something so sad that it becomes beautiful, but after saying the words in my head over and again...it ends up sounding so...wrong.

Kudos to Ms. Sara Bareilles, the master of singing songs about beauty and sadness and being helpless, and finding the light at the end of the tunnel.

The tone she exhales as she breathes in and out are perfect for a girl who has had her heart broken by a man who seemed to be perfect for her, but really isn't. A woman who bought a ticket to the end of the rainbow, but still couldn't pin point the exact moment when it all just came crumbling down. And a lady who gives herself time to grieve the love that died, letting all the pain and sadness out by crying herself to sleep before picking up the pieces of her broken heart.

I am perfectly content and happy, but I somehow miss hearing these songs as I lie myself to sleep.

I think I'm going to bed with the sound of her soulful and heartbreaking voice tonight

With that in mind, let's hope for good dreams now shall we?

P.S. She has songs about falling in love with Mr. right too. Trust me. Haha

I'll leave you with my top 2 favorite Sara Bareilles songs.

GRAVITY

Something always brings me back to you.
It never takes too long.
No matter what I say or do
I'll still feel you here 'til the moment I'm gone.
You hold me without touch.
You keep me without chains.
I never wanted anything so much
than to drown in your love and not feel your reign.

[CHORUS:]
Set me free, leave me be.
I don't want to fall another moment into your gravity.
Here I am and I stand so tall,
just the way I'm supposed to be.
But you're on to me and all over me.

You loved me 'cause I'm fragile.
When I thought that I was strong.
But you touch me for a little while
and all my fragile strength is gone.

[CHORUS]

I live here on my knees as I try to make you see
that you're everything I think I need here on the ground.
But you're neither friend nor foe
though I can't seem to let you go.
The one thing that I still know is that you're keeping me down

Something always brings me back to you.
It never takes too long.

IN BETWEEN THE LINES
(I just had to highlight it all)

Time to tell me the truth
To burden your mouth for what you say
No pieces of paper in the way
Cause i cant continue pretending to choose
The opposite sides on which we fall
The loving you laters if at all
No right minds could wrong be this many times

My memory is cruel
Im queen of attention to details
Defending intentions if he fails
Until now, he told me her name
It sounded familiar in a way
I could have sworn i'd heard him say it ten thousand times
If only i had been listening

Leave unsaid unspoken
Eyes wide shut unopened
You and me
Always between the lines
Between the lines

I thought i thought i was ready to bleed
That we'd move from the shadows on the wall
And stand in the center of it all
Too late two choices to stay or to leave
Mine was so easy to uncover
He'd already left with the other
So i've learned to listen through silence

Leave unsaid unspoken
Eyes wide shut unopened
You and me be
You and me always be

I tell myself all the words he surely meant to say
I'll talk until the conversation doesn't stay on
Wait for me i'm almost ready
When he meant let go

Leave unsaid unspoken
Eyes wide shut unopened
You and me
Always be
You and me
Always between the lines

Please download the following right after reading this.

1. Gravity
2. Between the lines
3. Responsible
4. Undertow
5. Bittersweet
6. One Sweet Love

Ay nevermind, just download both her albums
1. Careful Confessions (2004)
2. Little Voice (2007)

I could try to forget what you do when i let you get

Through to me but then you do it over again

I could rage like a fire and you'd bring rain i desire

Til you get to me on my morningside

C-H-A-N-G-E-S

2009-03-23T04:55:00.007+08:00

One week and 1 day.

That's how long it's been since I stepped on the marble floors of the NAIA airport at 3 in the morning, awaiting our 6:30 am flight. I haven't been able to update my blog partly due to our (shall I say?) hectic schedule. We've been to a couple of stores, bought clothes and shoes here and there, and enjoyed conversations so much that I haven't had my usual "me" time.

At a certain point of every day, I like to immerse myself in...well, me. I know it sounds selfish, but I love "me" time. I'm sure you get what I mean.

I turn on the radio or play my ipod (favorite playlist=STELLARSUBLIME) and turn up the volume to 13, and just either sing at the top of my lungs as I look at my everyday blogs and sites, or hum the tune quietly in my head whilst thinking of random shiz.

After all the talking I've done with my relatives this past week, I am now catching up with myslef. I put on my anti-social mask and headed staright to my room while my mum, brother, cousin, tito and tita's voices are resonating in the lower level of the house. Somehow it sounds like they're having fun while making dinner and doing laundry, but I'll just join them later on.

Let's go back to me.

I guess it's safe to say that my bestfriend's predictions are starting to come true. I've changed very slightly in a way that isn't so noticable, but if you really knew me...you'd see that I've tweaked a few things here and there.

Besides the possible weight gain, the minor changes include coffee, shoe size, body wash, and the contents of my bag.

I like my coffee black now. Black with two packets of Aspartame (Splenda please). I really enjoy it now! Somehow the sweetness and bitterness collide perfectly with each other, that I've decided to stick through my decision.

My shoe size here in the US seems to be a 1/2 a size bigger. Not much of a woah change, but still a change.

I like ginger and wild flower, plus Dove's cucumber and green tea scent. Yummy.

And lastly, I've added a new addition to my hand bag's contents. Ladies and gentlemen, may I introduce you to the best thing ever... FEBREZE! It smells wonderful! I'm going to carry it around, everywhere. I laugh at myself for being attracted to the smell, not minding the price or the brand. Just as long as it makes me smell good.

Okay enough selfish time, my brother has penetrated me time, turned off my radio, turned on the TV and is now watching the new episodes of Spongebob.

Till the next "me" time.

Later!

Who lives in a pineapple

under the sea?

SPONGEBOB

SQUAREPANTS!

I'm gonna tell you the future.

2009-03-20T09:56:00.004+08:00

V1
Sit down, give me your hand
I'm gonna tell you the future
I see you, living happily
With somebody who really suits ya
Someone like me

Br
Stand still. Breath in
Are you listening?

Ch
You don't know
Somebody's aching. Keeping it all in
Somebody won't let go of his heart but the truth is
It's painless
Letting your love show

V2
Break down. Give me some time
I don't want the fear to confuse ya
Right now, it's so wrong
But maybe it's all in the future with
Someone like you

Br
Stand still. Breath in
Are you listening?

Ch
You don't know
Somebody's aching. Keeping it all in
Somebody won't let go of his heart but the truth is
It's painless
Letting your love show

Mid 8
Maybe truth, maybe lies
Made me want you
Maybe dumb, maybe wise...?
I don't know

Ch
Somebody's aching. Keeping it all in
Somebody won't let go of his heart but the truth is
It's painless
Letting your love show
You don't know
Somebody's hurting. Holding it all in
Somebody can't let go of his heart but the truth is
It's painless
Letting your love show
Love show
Letting your love show

*********************

I read it once, or twice (Okay fine, a hundred) somewhere that when you make a secret of the love of your life, your life makes a secret of love.

Let it out.

Stomp around.

Scream.

Tell the world.

Then maybe, you can tell me.

Listen: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T1uGbh96y-4

Magic lies in the truth.

2009-03-19T00:11:00.003+08:00

Sometimes, when I'm underwater, I wish it would rain. That would be pretty cool huh? I'm going to look back on that and say, "Remember that time it rained underwater?"

I heard it was raining back home in the middle of summer. Makes me miss home a little bit :)
It's the perfect time for a summer love right? hahaha
Oh Trina, shut your trap.

All I can say

is that my life

is pretty plain.

And I like to watch

the puddles gather rain.

A different kind of greeting.

2009-03-10T02:30:00.003+08:00

I don't think I have the courage to greet you this year, so I'll do it here.

BIRTHDAY.

Is that too mean? To wish you a happy birthday without the happy...just birthday. It's still a greeting right?

Maybe next year. Maybe not at all.

This is supposed to be my secret entry. For once I want blogspot to be able to hide entries. Damn you blogger. Seriously.

----------------
Now playing: John Mayer - I'm Gonna Find Another You
via FoxyTunes
*How very apt.

A lingering thought.

2009-03-10T01:32:00.002+08:00

I seriously want to write about something that's been swimming around my thoughts ever since I glanced upon the pictures of the eheads concert. I will write about it soon, I promise. Just not now because I'm too lazy...and I feel like I'm on a high due to 2 packs of milk tea. Wonder-freaking-ful.

Where were you tonight btw?

Filling in the outlines
Of memories that we could never draw in
Then running in these circles
Will make us dizzy, we’ll just keep on falling

----------------
Now playing: Five Times August - So Typical
via FoxyTunes

And the Nostalgia kicks in like crazy.

2009-03-08T11:34:00.005+08:00

I need you to give me the chance to take you for granted.

Seriously.

"I had the sadness and too much of it. There's no chemo for that except time."

civil? I fucking hate civil. Plus, MARCH 8 NA! Pwede ba, ONE YEAR NA! :s

Don't go away again,
I want to be more than a phone call at 4 A.M.
Seems like every time you come back home
It's just to steal my heart and leave
Don't go away again,
I want to be more than a story to tell your friends
Seems like every time you come back home
It's just to make me fall again

You're neither friend nor foe.

2009-03-08T03:16:00.004+08:00

I really think it's time to say goodbye.

Goodbye :)
And btw. I'm not that stupid.

(Challenge 2...fail:s)

Oh twice as much aint twice as good
And can't sustain like a one half could
It's wanting more
That's gonna send me to my knees

This will be the difference...

2009-03-05T23:27:00.004+08:00

I know it's been like my third post today, but I really have to put this so I always remember this moment.

My best friend just messaged me a few lines of encouragement after my long babbling and complaining, and I love how two simple lines made me feel so much better.

"It's okay na, kaya mo yan :) This summer will be different. And when you come back, it will also be different :)"

Thanks Best :) I super love you!

THIS SUMMER WILL BE DIFFERENT. IT'LL BE BETTER.
(And hopefully, the good times will last.)

I was just a boy like every other

I thought I was something fierce

I thought I was ten times smarter

Love would be something that I just know

(Something I just know)

How you gonna know the feeling till you've lost it

I've been losing plenty since

Remember to forget.

2009-03-05T23:05:00.009+08:00

My second entry of the day will somewhat be in tagalog, just because I feel that there will be more emphasis and emotion by doing so.

(Just a short disclaimer. I am absolutely NOT very good with my native tongue. I'm not proud of it :s But I felt like I needed to explain, just in case I say or spell something incorrectly. HAHA)

CHALLENGE LANG YAN.

SERIOSO.

Pwede bang magsitigil ka na sa kaka muni-muni mo, dahil hindi talaga makakabuti sayo. Parang sinasabi lang sayo ni Jess na "O ayan Trina, papamukha ko sayo yan para maging mas malakas ka...para matignan mo sa mukha yung problema at maisip mo na isa lang itong pagsusubok."

CHALLENGE LANG YAN.

(Switch back to english)

He shows it to me not to remember...but to remember to forget.

And I soooo want to overcome this challenge.

Bring it fucking on.

We've all got scars as big as ours

A token for the pain we hide inside of us

Everyone's scared that somebody knows

You push it aside, yeah that's how it goes

If you've ever heard a beating heart

A rhythm for the songs we're too afraid to sing

Nobody here is perfectly fine

A delicate frame, a fragile design

If there's a hole in your heart

You gotta pull it together

It takes the courage to start

But now is better than never

It takes a push and a shove

Somehow it's never enough

And its alarming how quickly we forget that

Nothing's bigger than love

All you need, all you need, all you need is love

Some people change and some just won't

You can't take back the words you wish you'd never said

Promises break and lovers will lie

You hold up your hands and let out a sigh

So smile right before you fall

And lay beside this mess and call it consequence

Somebody said that life isn't fair

When somebody else was saying a prayer'

Cause no-one's taking me out

And nothing's pulling me down

I turn my head to the crowd

This love is big and it's loud

This is a car in the crash

This is the light in the flash

This is the answers you know

But you're just too scared to ask

If there's a hole in your heart

You gotta pull it together

It takes the courage to start

But now is better than never

It takes a push and a shove

Somehow it's never enough

(Still. OVER AND OVER AND OVER.

I'll never EVER get sick of this song.)

I guess you're still trying to save the world, huh Superman?

2009-03-05T21:54:00.003+08:00

I've always had this thing for Superman. Maybe it's the fact that he can do everything except when he's under the influence of the green stuff (Yes I know what it's called, I just thought it would be cooler to say it that way.)

Like I said last night, in the midst of all my semi-tipsy state, it has something to do with the image of knowing that he can protect me.

I like that somehow.

I also like the fact that he's out there for the good things. Trying to save the world, helping people out even if the chore is something as minute as bringing a cat down from a tree.

So I guess you're still trying to save the world, huh Superman?

Well if you have some spare time, maybe you could think about saving me.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

I'm leaving in a week.

I'm sort of going to miss you.

Like I've been missing you every now and then.

If there's a hole

in your heart

you've got to

put it together.

Challenge. Challenge. Challenge.

2009-03-02T00:20:00.005+08:00

It's been a long year

since we last spoke

how's your halo?

Just between you and I

You and me and the satellites.

March 2 na. Hay nako.

The summer chronicles ☼

2009-03-01T20:40:00.004+08:00

Happy March 1 everyone. :s

It's summer again. Yey. (Please sense the sarcastic tone)

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Happy birthday Jamsey!

Oh and Samantha. I accept your challenge. In all...its...entirety.

Turn me inside out so i can see

a part of you that's drifting over me

When I wake you're never there

When I sleep you're everywhere.

You're everywhere.

What color do you see?

2009-02-26T00:40:00.006+08:00

Somehow...

I

can't

stop

reading.

I used to think that words were just mere letters strung together to be able to converse without talking.

Now I realize that they are actually symbols of feelings, emotions, and everything else in between.

It's true what they say about silence. That it speaks in a language that sometimes only you and one other person can understand. At times, others try to comprehend what both of you are trying to say, but in the end they give up because they're just not on the same wavelength.

It's also true that big things come from little things.
For example, the way one compliment like "You look radiant today" can make a person's day.

...that simple gestures lead to grandiose ones.
Like the way you hold the door open for someone, and a smile is elicited from their face.

...and that big messages come from a variation of three to seven words.
Like:

Hello stranger.or.thank you.or.with love.or.forgive me.or.I missed you.or.I forgive you.or.I loved you.or.I choose us.or.How has life been?.or.I've been thinking about you.or.Do you remember summertime?.or.I smiled hearing our favorite song.or.You make me want to be better.

So if you're reading this, don't read it aloud. Scan these words that I've used to symbolize the things I'm feeling right now.

Through silence, remember me. Remember us.

To my past, past progressive, and future:

Hello stranger. I've missed you these past few days. I want you to know that I forgive you and all those random shitty things you've done to me. You know, I truly loved you, and it saddens me that it ended that way. You may not want to believe me, but I speak the truth. In turn, I hope that you have forgiven me. In the future, I want you to know that despite whatever, I would choose us.

On a lighter note, it's been awhile since we conversed...how has your life been? Are you happy? I hope you are. I think about it sometimes, I've been thinking about you too, and i wonder, do you remember the summertime? I do. Being a music geek that I am, I listen to random songs all the time...and just this morning, I smiled hearing our favorite song.

Anyway, because of everything that has happened, you've made me want to be a better person.
Thank you for that.

With Love,

Trina

P.S. Did you hear me through the silence? Sometimes I hear you too.

I love the way

You live so intensely

Enjoy every minute of life

With space to swing

Your arms around

Laughing loudly

I feel a song coming on.

2009-02-25T17:39:00.003+08:00

There are places i'll remember
All my life though some have changed
Some forever not for better
Some have gone and some remain
All these places have their moments
With lovers and friends i still can recall
Some are dead and some are living
In my life i've loved them all

But of all these friends and lovers
There is no one compares with you
And these memories lose their meaning
When i think of love as something new
Though i know i'll never lose affection
For people and things that went before
I know i'll often stop and think about them
In my life i love you more

Though i know i'll never lose affection
For people and things that went before
I know i'll often stop and think about them
In my life i love you more
In my life i love you more

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
I kind of miss what we used to do.

I want a power hug. And a power kiss too :) HAHA

Happy birthday Gorgeous.

2009-02-19T22:18:00.007+08:00

Before this day ends.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY GORGE! :)

Remember these?

You made this for me.

During our cousins night out last June.

You helped me find a dress for an event. We ended up picking out the pruple dress from people that was on sale...rather, it was REALLY on sale.

This was taken last April during our Romantic dinner due to the black out in POWER PLANT!

Exhibit C. Here we are doing what we do best. Taking pictures...and shopping.

I LOVE YOU! Have a great one love :)

Happy birthday to you

Happy birthday Happy birthday

Happy birthday to you.

You and me and the satellites.

2009-02-19T21:53:00.003+08:00

I haven't done the oh so famous "25 random things about me" survey that everyone's so hung up on. I'm really tempted to do it, but after clicking "make a new note" I would feel the laziness in me rise up, so I end up not doing it at all.

Anyway, one of the 25 random things about me for sure, is that I'm a lyrics girl. I always have been, and I probably always will be. Another one would be the fact that any form of intelligent writing fascinates me. May it be in a form of a poem, a short essay, a good novel, or most especially in a song. That goes hand in hand with random fact number 3 about me...Music is definitely one of my passions.

With this in mind, I'd like to share one of the songs that I listen to over and over again whenever I feel like it. It's one of my favorites. The song is entitled "FOR BLUE SKIES" by Strays Don't Sleep. The lyrics are amazing and the beat is simple and alluring to the point that for 6 plus plus minutes, my mind is transported to a world filled with sorrow, and beauty.

You've probably heard it before if you're a OTH fan. This was being played during Brooke's famous "This is how I Spent my Summer Lucas...Wanting you" speech.

So here's the lyrics. Read it. Listen to it. Get hypnotized by the words, by the music, by the meaning of every syllable the vocalist sings.

It's been a long year since we last spoke
How's your halo?
Just between you and I
You and me and the satelites
I never believed you I only wanted to
Before all this what did I miss?
Do you ever get homesick?
I can't get used to it I can't get used to it
I'll never get used to it I'll never get used to it
Remember that night among those same stars
We're in a red car you were sleep at my side
Going in & out of the headlights
Could I have saved you?
Would that have betrayed you?
I want to burn this film
You alone with those pills
What you couldn't do I willI forgive you
I forgive you
I forgive you
I forgive you
For blue blue skies
I forgive you

It always leaves me in awe and fascination whenever a song could speak to me in one way, and then sends a very different message to another.

For me, it's about passion, love, relationships, death, longing, finding.

What does it mean to you?

P.S. Peyton and Lucas still. TLA.

P.P.S. The green parts are my favorite lines.

Live Jesus in our hearts. Forever.

2009-02-19T01:03:00.003+08:00

Impromptu dinner in a fake Japanese restaurant (boo!) with 3 of my closest college friends.
Starbucks and Ayala walk-athon adventures with 2.
Superb conversations in between laugh-able inside jokes.
Forseeing the near future and declaring little wishes and what-nots.

This made me miss college.
You guys made me wish for a few more terms. Seriously.
Events that took place today allowed me to realize that I'm getting to know you even more, and I absolutely loved it.

Messages for my 3 friends:

Ms. Number 1: I love you because you get me. I love you because you're really like my sister. (Last na, HAHA) I love you period.

Ms. Number 2: Just like my mum said, I wouldn't have survived college without you. I thank you for everything, because you deserve the appreciation. I love you as well.

Hey Mr: Don't go to EK. No girlfriends for you, because Ms. number 1 and I already have your heart. HAHA! Just kidding :) I missed you and I'm glad I got to talk to you again. P.S. Crush talaga kita ;)

To the rest of my college friends and blockmates: The same love goes out to you and you and you. Yehey!

It's tempting to stop everything
When I'm pouring out to you
So take everything, take it all from me
Because all I want is you

A little something is better than a whole lot of nothing.

2009-02-18T00:01:00.006+08:00

The Rules for being Human

When you were born, you didn't come with an owner's manual; these guidelines make life work better.

1. You will receive a body. You may like it or hate it, but it's the only thing you are sure to keep for the rest of your life.

2. You will learn lessons. You are enrolled in a full-time informal school called "Life on Planet Earth". Every person or incident is the Universal Teacher.

3. There are no mistakes, only lessons. Growth is a process of experimentation. "Failures" are as much a part of the process as "success."

4. A lesson is repeated until learned. It is presented to you in various forms until you learn it -- then you can go on to the next lesson.

5. If you don't learn easy lessons, they get harder. External problems are a precise reflection of your internal state. When you clear inner obstructions, your outside world changes. Pain is how the universe gets your attention.

6. You will know you've learned a lesson when your actions change. Wisdom is practice. A little of something is better than a lot of nothing.

7. "There" is no better than "here". When your "there" becomes a "here" you will simply obtain another "there" that again looks better than "here."

8. Others are only mirrors of you. You cannot love or hate something about another unless it reflects something you love or hate in yourself.

9. Your life is up to you. Life provides the canvas; you do the painting. Take charge of your life -- or someone else will.

10. You always get what you want. Your subconscious rightfully determines what energies, experiences, and people you attract -- therefore, the only foolproof way to know what you want is to see what you have. There are no victims, only students.

11. There is no right or wrong, but there are consequences. Moralizing doesn't help. Judgments only hold the patterns in place. Just do your best.

12. Your answers lie inside you. Children need guidance from others; as we mature, we trust our hearts, where the Laws of Spirit are written. You know more than you have heard or read or been told. All you need to do is to look, listen, and trust.

13. You will forget all this.

14. You can remember any time you wish.

(From the book "If Life is a Game, These are the Rules" by Cherie Carter-Scott)

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Rule numbers 1, 6, 7, 10, 14, and most especially number 4...seriously haunt me.

Made you think huh? Good.

Cause when I'm with him,
I am thinking of you.
(Still the song stuck in my head.)

He kissed my lips, I taste your mouth.

2009-02-17T06:17:00.006+08:00

I talked to a friend earlier today (I mean really early), and somehow I'm not ashamed to say that our conversation got me to think about you and what was. It's been almost a year since you and I first exchanged a few words, and what-nots. It was sometime in February, I am very certain, when you made a comment about my avatar picture. And even though I knew you used a line as your bait... I took it wholey, and you reeled me in...entirely. It was sometime in mid March too that I somehow knew I felt something for you for sure. That I knew I could actually be with you.

Anyway, nostalgia kicked in because of the situation my buddy is in right now, and all I could think of was... that used to be me. I know there are some tweaks and turns in the story, but bottom line... there was someone else. His story's ending hasn't been decided yet, I'm pulling for the better ending and not the bitter one which I got. Haha

More on the topic of L.U.V.

My best friend Fran and I decided that we would be each other's date on V-day. We had dinner with my family, exchanged a few stories, and then watched a movie entitled "Strictly Sexual".

The story goes... 2 girls hire 2 men to be their boy toys (if you know what I mean, wink wink), rules are made: hence the title, it's pure work no emotions blah blah blah...long story short, despite the rules... both parties fell in love.

I know the plot sounds like a typical chick flick type of thing, and I'm surely not going to deny it...it actually is. But Fran and I absolutely loved it to the point that it brought a few tears to our eyes. You see, I'm not going to spoil the movie for you incase you want to see it, but I love how the movie showed that there are some loves that really don't work despite and inspite whatever. It was rapid, and passionate...and seemingly perfect, but it just doesn't go the way you want it. It doesn't matter how much you love each other, it just comes to a point where you don't even have words left to say. On the other hand, there are relationships that develop in a gradual, "we're-still-unsure-of-what-we-feel-for-each-other" manner which in the end are the ones worth fighting for.

Somehow the movie made me sad, but allowed me to understand things even more. It got me thinking, and I've realized a few things.

I'm better now. Much better than I was a few months back, and I must say that I think about you. Not often, but I still do. I remember you every now and then because of certain hints like songs on the radio, or random words people around me say that you used to say, or dates...I remember dates. Small moments.

My biggest realization is that I've accepted the fact that I felt so much more for you than you did towards me.

Over the phone, my friend was trying to explain how he felt for this girl. Lines like "She's THE one", and "She seems to be worth everything that I've done for her." or "I can see myself with her...us together" blah blah blah, and I was thinking... My God I can hear the old me through his words at the very moment. I wanted to tell him, "Dude, you don't have to tell me, I know exactly what you're feeling". Because I did, I really really did.

It doesn't even matter somehow that in the end, you really weren't who you said you were... because I seriously thought you were the one for me. You allowed me to feel how it felt to like somebody so much to the point that I saw myself with you...sharing everything with you, and asking you how your day went. I saw the possibility that you knew everything anyone would tell me, because my secret would be your secret too and vice versa. I saw you in family dinners, and I saw myself in Christmases with yours etc etc. I felt it in my heart that I could introduce you to my relatives and friends and say "He's my boyfriend. He's with me. He's the one."

It's funny how I'm open about it now. In the past I would've been so afraid to say this out loud because I knew how freaked out you would be, and I knew we weren't on the same ground. But now it doesn't matter anymore, because we're really out of each other's radar. You're obviously happy with her, and I'm finally okay with being single without you. I'm thinking about everything now, and the phrase "No Regrets" still holds some truth in the end.

There are some things that I wish I didn't do, but truthfully, what happened made me stronger and wiser. I've come to a realization which points out the fact that we're really not meant for each other. That's just the way it is. I used to pitty myself and go "I'm just not the one for you", but now I think "You're not the one for me"...and that's really fine, no bitterness whatsoever.

I get it now. I really do.

Right now, I'm just waiting...because that's all I can do for now. I'm waiting for the day when I'll bump into someone, and feel the same way that I did for you but much more. And when that time does come, I'll be think of you in a way that I used to for the last time and say "Thank you. Thank you for not choosing me." In the end, I'll have a huge smile in my heart, and I'll be happy.

Yeah, that sounds good doesn't it? :) Let's make it a plan.

You're like an Indian summer
In the middle of winter
Like a hard candy
With a surprise center
How do I get better
Once I've had the best
You said there's
Tons of fish in the water
So the waters I will test

The face that launched a thousand ships. Translation: PICTURE PERFECT.

2009-02-16T21:46:00.005+08:00

Oh missy, your picture absolutely made my day :)

Scratch that, your picture made my week!

I tried to do headstands for you
I tried to do headstands for you
Everytime I fall on you.

Off-white :s

2009-02-11T22:04:00.004+08:00

I freaking murdered my nails. Haha! At first I wanted it to be white, like correction fluid white because I think it's really pretty. But Caronia White SUCKS! It's all bumpy and uneven...and it makes me sad :s It's also possible that it's because of my lack of nail polish putting expertise. BIG BOO!

This is just a random rant. haha

I also want a new haircut. I don't know why :s

PFFFFFT.

Kk, I shall go back to watching the musings of Popoy and Basha (Hence the songe below). HAHAHA

Hello//goodbye.

I'll never go
far away from you
even the stars will tell you
that I need you so.
For this is all I know.
i'll never go, far away from...
You.

Medschool, just like Mario said--- I CHOOSE YOU!

2009-02-10T18:46:00.007+08:00

I am finally trying to put some order in my life, and I'm starting it by fixing my room. With this in mind, I figured I should have a proper station for everything. For example, my pillows stay on my bed (and not on the floor. HAHA), my uber bright desk lamp should be on my study desk (not beside my bed for reading purposes), my dvds on my baul where my tv is (it should not be on the side of my gigantic "bed" for my -i'm-lazy-to-get-up-i'll-j

ust-marathon- moods) etc. etc. I'm sure you get the drift.

So I positioned my laptop on the table beside my study desk where all my techie gadgets are located. My printer, scanner, my cellphone, and blackboard...and atop my desk, just a little bit higher than eye level is my trusty cork board. I've placed everything memorable there that has touched my life. It didn't have to be in a grandiose way (like my EAF from the term which I became a dean's lister, or pictures of friends and family) some were just little pieces of paper with cute sayings, random restaurant coasters, season 70 UAAP tickets and YO! Cards which I found adorable. Anything that was worth sticking to the board, I stuck.

I'd have to say though that one of my favorites among all the tacted things on the board would be a piece of paper which has a prayer on it. It was given to me during our school's LASARET exactly a year ago, and since I've read it word for word, I've tried to apply it to my every day life.

It says:

Nothing is more practical than finding God,
that is, than falling in love in a quite absolute,
final way.

What you are in love with,
what seizes your imagination,
will affect everything.

It will decide
what will get you out of bed in the morning,
what you will do with your evenings,
how you will spend your weekends,
what you read, what you know,
what breaks your heart,
and what amazes you with joy and gratitude.

FALL IN LOVE, STAY IN LOVE, IT WILL DECIDE EVERYTHING

--Attributed to Pedro Arrupe, S.J. (1907-1991)
Superior General of the Society of Jesus 1961-1984

I wanted to share this with my friends, because I personally think that falling in love with what you're passionate about is just absolutely beautiful. Staying in love (which is more difficult) is even more fantastic.

I especially want to share this with my blockmates, and future fellow med-school students.

This coming June, we are about to embark on a journey that is 10x more exhuasting and tedious than a hundred biochem lectures, more stressing than a million orgchem equations, and physics lab reports... we will start treading the waters of all the sciences that can be known to man, swimming till our limbs are practically numb, just to be able to grab a buoy which is masked by a passing mark.

If this is what we want, and if it's truly meant for us...we will be able to stay afloat :)

We're going to be future doctors...and we'll make sure we kick ass. haha

So in response to the prayer above, I created my own.

Dear Jess,

please tell this to all the Medicine school gods out there if there are any.

"I Trina, have chosen to fall in love with you Mr./Ms. med school...and all your glory. Please please please... love me back"

With love,

Kathryn Anne F. Lorenzana (hopefully, in 10 years this name will have the abbreviation M.D. beside it)

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

They published my article in the newspaper today. With my name and everything. haha :) I'm happy.
Click here to be able to read it. If you're a follower of this blog, you've read it before. har har.

Thank you Jess :)

Color thy nails.

2009-02-03T02:14:00.002+08:00

I just removed my orange nail polish which is called "Groove On" by Revlon. Hahaha :) I wonder which color will be next... I'm still debating on "Cool Cucumber", "Krypton", or "Mint Sorbet"... all of which are from the very green family.

I think I like Krypton. haha

BE THERE? BEEN THERE!

2009-01-31T02:50:00.004+08:00

T.L. Gets it done!!!!! I la-la-la-love my friends :)

Another one of those inuman nights, and I am the last one standing. Hahahaha

I just wanted to write an entry so that I remember this night.

The funny thing about it is that it wasn't a SPECTACULAR night. I mean sure, every night with my girls are the best, but some nights are extra amazing.

This wasn't one of those amazing nights. But I saw something that reminded me that there will be more days in the future with my la-la-la-loves which will be extra super duper a-m-a-z-i-n-g, and I'm really looking forward to those days.

My friends aren't perfect, but they're true...and that's what makes them pretty perfect for me.

P.S. IT STARTS ON MONDAY. SWEAR.

If you seek Amy.
(haha)

That flower looks good in your hair.

2009-01-29T13:36:00.007+08:00

I just finished watching the movie "Failure to Launch" (2006), and I just have to say that the soundtrack is the cutest :)

My mum and I also just bonded a bit over what women supposedly do best... "cooking". I helped her mash, dice, cut, grate, etc. various food components to create a culinary masterpiece (It's actually just pizza pandesal, banana pancakes, lentejas soup, and adobo). Now I'm trying to relax with half a martini glass filled with red wine though it's 1:43 in the afternoon. Haha. Somehow red wine reminds me of one of the sexiest songs I've ever heard (Love in this club part 1 by Usher).

Another one of those friday nights are coming up with the barkada hanging out here in my house.

Invite: Hello Friends! Save this Frdiay for alcohol and Karaoke over at my house. Friends, Food, and Drinks are welcome. See you at 8ish! BE THERE!!!! :)

Hahaha See you girlies and boyz this fuhriday!

Now let's all be quite cute and sing along.

and one more just because I think it's really sexy.

P.S. I'm still for team Aniston.

You see this guy,

this guy's in love with you,

Yes I'm in love,

love you the way I do.

A sweet collision of destinies.

2009-01-23T18:34:00.003+08:00

For those who have not read Love, Stargirl and have every intention to do so... skip this entry, or go straight to the part after the ~*~*~*~*~*~.

I wouldn't want to spoil the ending.

Here we go:

"...And so the days pass, twelve of them since the sun began its journey back to summer. Ordinary days, ordinary creatures. Ordinary, usual, everyday life--and yet it all seems so special now, the commonest gestures flecked with glitter, as if a sparkle from the golden beam clung to every person who went down from Calendar Hill that morning.

As I stood that final time on the hill, I decided that--yes--I will mail this world's longest letter to you. I know now that you too were there that morning, as surely as the Lenape maiden and Charlie's Grace were there. Your answer has been a new sunrise for me, my own personal Solstice, the dawn of a season that I will, as betty Lou would say, inhabit one day at a time. I will sail into the future on mystery's wings and I will not look back. Oh yes, I do love Arnold, but I have been too much like him. We Arnolds, our hearts year backward. We long to be found, hoping our searchers have not given up and gone home. But I no longer hope to be found, Leo. Do not follow me! Let's just be fabulously where we are and who we are. You be you and I'll be me, today and today and today, and let's trust the future to tomorrow. Let the stars keeps track of us. Let us ride our own orbits and trust that they will meet. May our reunion be not a finding but a sweet collision of destinies!"

Love and Love and Love again,

Stargirl

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

What a beautiful story. I'd like to change my name to RAINGIRL hahahaha.

P.S.

Our number would've been...4 :)

Maybe I'll elaborate on that later. Maybe, Maybe not.

And All my life

I prayed for someone like you

and I thank God that I,

that I finally found you.

Can I be that perfect girl (Oh the month of April)?

2009-01-23T00:15:00.001+08:00

Haruki Murakami: On seeing the 100% perfect girl one beautiful April morning

One beautiful April morning, on a narrow side street in Tokyo's fashionable Harujuku neighborhood, I walked past the 100% perfect girl.

Tell you the truth, she's not that good-looking. She doesn't stand out in any way. Her clothes are nothing special. The back of her hair is still bent out of shape from sleep. She isn't young, either - must be near thirty, not even close to a "girl," properly speaking. But still, I know from fifty yards away: She's the 100% perfect girl for me. The moment I see her, there's a rumbling in my chest, and my mouth is as dry as a desert.

Maybe you have your own particular favorite type of girl - one with slim ankles, say, or big eyes, or graceful fingers, or you're drawn for no good reason to girls who take their time with every meal. I have my own preferences, of course. Sometimes in a restaurant I'll catch myself staring at the girl at the next table to mine because I like the shape of her nose.

But no one can insist that his 100% perfect girl correspond to some preconceived type. Much as I like noses, I can't recall the shape of hers - or even if she had one. All I can remember for sure is that she was no great beauty. It's weird.

"Yesterday on the street I passed the 100% girl," I tell someone.

"Yeah?" he says. "Good-looking?"

"Not really."

"Your favorite type, then?"

"I don't know. I can't seem to remember anything about her - the shape of her eyes or the size of her breasts."

"Strange."

"Yeah. Strange."

"So anyhow," he says, already bored, "what did you do? Talk to her? Follow her?"

"Nah. Just passed her on the street."

She's walking east to west, and I west to east. It's a really nice April morning.

Wish I could talk to her. Half an hour would be plenty: just ask her about herself, tell her about myself, and - what I'd really like to do - explain to her the complexities of fate that have led to our passing each other on a side street in Harajuku on a beautiful April morning in 1981. This was something sure to be crammed full of warm secrets, like an antique clock build when peace filled the world.

After talking, we'd have lunch somewhere, maybe see a Woody Allen movie, stop by a hotel bar for cocktails. With any kind of luck, we might end up in bed.

Potentiality knocks on the door of my heart.

Now the distance between us has narrowed to fifteen yards.

How can I approach her? What should I say?

"Good morning, miss. Do you think you could spare half an hour for a little conversation?"

Ridiculous. I'd sound like an insurance salesman.

"Pardon me, but would you happen to know if there is an all-night cleaners in the neighborhood?"

No, this is just as ridiculous. I'm not carrying any laundry, for one thing. Who's going to buy a line like that?

Maybe the simple truth would do. "Good morning. You are the 100% perfect girl for me."

No, she wouldn't believe it. Or even if she did, she might not want to talk to me. Sorry, she could say, I might be the 100% perfect girl for you, but you're not the 100% boy for me. It could happen. And if I found myself in that situation, I'd probably go to pieces. I'd never recover from the shock. I'm thirty-two, and that's what growing older is all about.

We pass in front of a flower shop. A small, warm air mass touches my skin. The asphalt is damp, and I catch the scent of roses. I can't bring myself to speak to her. She wears a white sweater, and in her right hand she holds a crisp white envelope lacking only a stamp. So: She's written somebody a letter, maybe spent the whole night writing, to judge from the sleepy look in her eyes. The envelope could contain every secret she's ever had.

I take a few more strides and turn: She's lost in the crowd.

Now, of course, I know exactly what I should have said to her. It would have been a long speech, though, far too long for me to have delivered it properly. The ideas I come up with are never very practical.

Oh, well. It would have started "Once upon a time" and ended "A sad story, don't you think?"

Once upon a time, there lived a boy and a girl. The boy was eighteen and the girl sixteen. He was not unusually handsome, and she was not especially beautiful. They were just an ordinary lonely boy and an ordinary lonely girl, like all the others. But they believed with their whole hearts that somewhere in the world there lived the 100% perfect boy and the 100% perfect girl for them. Yes, they believed in a miracle. And that miracle actually happened.

One day the two came upon each other on the corner of a street.

"This is amazing," he said. "I've been looking for you all my life. You may not believe this, but you're the 100% perfect girl for me."

"And you," she said to him, "are the 100% perfect boy for me, exactly as I'd pictured you in every detail. It's like a dream."

They sat on a park bench, held hands, and told each other their stories hour after hour. They were not lonely anymore. They had found and been found by their 100% perfect other. What a wonderful thing it is to find and be found by your 100% perfect other. It's a miracle, a cosmic miracle.

As they sat and talked, however, a tiny, tiny sliver of doubt took root in their hearts: Was it really all right for one's dreams to come true so easily?

And so, when there came a momentary lull in their conversation, the boy said to the girl, "Let's test ourselves - just once. If we really are each other's 100% perfect lovers, then sometime, somewhere, we will meet again without fail. And when that happens, and we know that we are the 100% perfect ones, we'll marry then and there. What do you think?"

"Yes," she said, "that is exactly what we should do."

And so they parted, she to the east, and he to the west.

The test they had agreed upon, however, was utterly unnecessary. They should never have undertaken it, because they really and truly were each other's 100% perfect lovers, and it was a miracle that they had ever met. But it was impossible for them to know this, young as they were. The cold, indifferent waves of fate proceeded to toss them unmercifully.

One winter, both the boy and the girl came down with the season's terrible inluenza, and after drifting for weeks between life and death they lost all memory of their earlier years. When they awoke, their heads were as empty as the young D. H. Lawrence's piggy bank.

They were two bright, determined young people, however, and through their unremitting efforts they were able to acquire once again the knowledge and feeling that qualified them to return as full-fledged members of society. Heaven be praised, they became truly upstanding citizens who knew how to transfer from one subway line to another, who were fully capable of sending a special-delivery letter at the post office. Indeed, they even experienced love again, sometimes as much as 75% or even 85% love.

Time passed with shocking swiftness, and soon the boy was thirty-two, the girl thirty.

One beautiful April morning, in search of a cup of coffee to start the day, the boy was walking from west to east, while the girl, intending to send a special-delivery letter, was walking from east to west, but along the same narrow street in the Harajuku neighborhood of Tokyo. They passed each other in the very center of the street. The faintest gleam of their lost memories glimmered for the briefest moment in their hearts. Each felt a rumbling in their chest. And they knew:

She is the 100% perfect girl for me.

He is the 100% perfect boy for me.

But the glow of their memories was far too weak, and their thoughts no longer had the clarity of fouteen years earlier. Without a word, they passed each other, disappearing into the crowd. Forever.

A sad story, don't you think?

Yes, that's it, that is what I should have said to her.

Taken from: http://www.mat.upm.es/~jcm/murakami-perfect.html

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I want to start collecting ALL his books. Seriously.