Do you remember the time when you were 5 years old (or younger), and you had a dream. It was the very first dream you could actually formulate in your newborn mind and for you it was the best darn dream you could ever have. It was the purest of the pure...and if you think about it right now you'll probably realize that it was the most far fetched, craziest, most outrageous dream you've ever desired, yet in your heart you believed that you could actually really have that dream or be that dream. You could taste it in your mouth and grab it by the hands as if it were right beside you.
When I was 7... I had a family friend who was diagnosed with cancer at the young age of 8. His name was Mico, and at that time he was really one of my best guy friends. He was very thoughtful, and loving, and fun to play power rangers with.
One day we visited him in the hospital and found him in the ICU. I could see him through the glass window in his isolated quarter. He was unconcious or probably sleeping, and to me he looked so different. All I knew was he was sick with cancer, but had absolutely NO IDEA what that was. He was frail and looked so much older. I could even see the scar on the back of his neck due to his operation.
There was only one other man in the room with Mico, and he was wearing a white coat. I turned to my mum who was beside me and asked who that man was. She looked down at me, and this is what she said: "That's Mico's doctor. He's going to cure Mico."
From then on I wanted to be a doctor. I dreamed of wearing the white coat and planned to heal my friend. As I got older different specializations were attached to my dream.
When I was in grade 6 I wanted to be a surgeon.
When I stepped into college after taking up BIOPSYCH, I wanted to be a neurosurgeon.
Now that I have graduated, it hasn't changed. I still want to be a neurosurgeon...and a damn good one if it's possible.
But like I said, that wasn't my very first dream.
When I was 5... I wanted to be a popstar.
I wanted to have a gazillion of fans, a double, tripple and all the "ipples" imaginable million peso selling album. I idolized Manelyn Reynes (is that how you spell her name?!) in all her ummm...singing sensation. But the real reason for wanting to be a popstar was because I loved to sing. I started singing songs by Jose Mari Chan during my 4th birthday. I sang "Please be careful with my heart" to my mum, and she cried like a baby.
Ever since then the mic was an extension of my hand.
As I got older I upgraded my popstar status to broadway diva extraordinaire thanks to Eponine's fantastic performance in "Les Miserables" and Kim and Ellen's duet in "Miss Saigon".
Until now musicals are my true love.
Still that wasn't my very first dream. This was my first...
When I was 3... I wanted to be a mermaid.
Go on...laugh it off :) Done?
Come on! If you were born in the year of 1987, have watched "The Little Mermaid", and is actually a girl...you have got to admit that Ariel was way cool with her flaming red hair, green flippery tail, and her voice of an angel. PLUS, she was a princess! When did you not want to ever be a princess and a mermaid at the same time?! My cousins and I would pull our legs into the pillow sheet so we would have flippers as well, and we would pretend to be Ariel in that "rock scene" as the electric fan blew air through our hair.
Haha Another bonus was having Flounder as a pet. From then on I've always had fish for a pet. Until I got older and couldn't stand the smell of them when they died.
My point is, we all have our crazy, fantastic, stellar dreams. Sometimes our very first dream is still what we want the most (Notice how farfetched it really is in the beginning). But as we grow older, we realize that those dreams are actually really crazy and unachievable. I realized that I couldn't actually just sprout a tail and gills all in one night. It dawned on me that there were millions of other girls just like me who wanted to be in a band and be a famous popstar. Yet these dreams remain in us and appear in small doses.
I've entered the real world and have decided to stick to my dream of becoming the worlds best neurosurgeon. Service and Passion for others. But I still love to belt out a tune or two whenever there are parties, get togethers, and mini-concerts. I pretend to win a grammy or two when I'm in the shower (The shampoo bottle was my grammy). I still absolutely adore the beach, and the bathtub, the rain and... basically water.
Sometimes...okay most of the time I still catch myself daydreaming of singing on a stage to a crowd that draws close to a billion. Whenever I want to get away from the world, I still silently wish that I were a mermaid swimming into the depths of the deep blue. It's good to escape the world once in awhile especially when there's too much going on. Remembering your first dreams and ambitions gives you something to laugh about. We should all try it once in awhile.
Ask yourself: What was the first dream I've ever conjured in my head? Then ask yourself where you are right now. More often than not, you find little joys in small things like these. And when you'rereally lost...sometimes you truly find yourself again all because of that crazy dream you had when you were 5.
In a place that won't
let us feel.
In a life where
Nothing seems real.
I have found you.
let us feel.
In a life where
Nothing seems real.
I have found you.
Labels: dreams, random rants, thoughts, trina