Hello, stranger. ♥ ♫♪

You and I both know that I am the biggest fan of team Leyton.

Peyton Sawyer and Lucas Scott.
TRUE LOVE ALWAYS.

...So why do I suddenly feel for Lindsey?

She will love you more
than I should
She who dares to
stand where I stood.

Labels: .9, music, one tree hill, sadness, songs, trina

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Thanks Favorite! :)

ORIGINAL:

REMIX:

Okay, I've listened to it 4 times in a row and have danced around my room and bathroom like a crazy party girl.

Now I shall go back to Prison Break. Weeee :)

Labels: favorites, happy-happy, love-love, music, trina, video

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Give me some good lovin'

...I've got a couple of musicals that can fall under the "LSS" category.

"Racing on the thunder
And rising with the heat
It's gonna take a Superman
To sweep me off my feet
I need a hero
I'm holding out for a hero till the end of the night."
-Holding out for a hero: Footloose the Musical

"Hands touch, Eyes meet
Sudden silence, sudden heat
Hearts leap in a giddy whirl
He could be that boy.
I'm not that girl."
-I'm not that girl: Wicked

"When I see depressing creatures
With unprepossessing features
I remind them on their own behalf
To think of Celebrated heads of state or
Specially great communicators
Did they have brains or knowledge?
Don't make me laugh!
They were popular! Please-
It's all about popular!
It's not aptitude
It's the way you're viewed
So it's very shrewd to be
Very very popular
Like me!"
-Popular: Wicked

"Since I was two or three
My life planned out neat
I'd get my law degree
And then win my senate seat.
A big white house back east
All of the amenities
Three kids at least,
just like the Kennedys"
-Serious: Legally Blonde the Musical

"No! that's the chip on my shoulder
I hugged my mom and I told her
With the chance I've been given
I'm gonna be driven as hell

Though I can't take the day off
I just think of the payoff
You need a chip on your shoulder
Little Miss Woods comma Elle"
-Chip on my shoulder: Legally Blonde the Musical

"Living in the ghetto black
is everywhere you go
who would've thought
I'd love a girl who's skin as white
as winter snow

In my ivory tower
life was just a hostess snack
but now I've tasted chocolate
and I'm never going back"
-Without Love: Hairspray the Musical

"And she sighs, and she swoons
and she's hummin' little tunes
Even has a sorta glow
What on earth could it be?
Any hammerhead can see!
That sigh!
That glow!
That swoon!
Oh, no! She's in love!"
-She's in love: Little Mermaid the Musical

"I don't need any lifetime comitements
I don't need to get hitched tonight.
I don't want to throw up your walls and defenses
I don't mean to put on any pressure
But I know when a thing is right
And I spend every day reconfiguring my senses.

When we get to my house, take a look at that town
Take a look at how far I've gone
i will never go back
Never look back anymore
And it feels like my life led right to your side
and will keep me there from now on
Think about what you wanted
Think about what could be
Think of how I love you
Say you'll move in with me
Think of what's great about me and you
Think of the bullshit we've both been through
Think of what's past because we can do better!
We can do better!
We can do better than that!
-We can do better than that: The Last Five Years

I can't wait to go to New York and watch them live on broadway.
MUSICALS ARE ABSOLUTE LOVE. Case closed.

You don't have to put the seat down

You don't have to watch the news

You don't have to like Duran-Duran

Just love me.

Labels: lyrics, music, musicals, random rants, songs, thoughts, trina

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Give me some good lovin'

MERRY CHRISTMAS.

Happy birthday Jess :)

Labels: Christmas, Jess

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Give me some good lovin'

From Gorge:

1. What did you do in 2008 that you'd never done before?
Break up with someone. Cry non stop for 3 hours. haha

2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I don't remember my new years resolution/s. And yes, I will make more for next year.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
hmmm...nope

4. Did anyone close to you die?
Not so close.. Lola Ging and Lolo Dad. -Same. As well as Marice's Dad and Tito Philip's sister

5. What countries did you visit?
Philippines. haha

6. What would you like to have in 2009 that you lacked in 2008?
Motivation. Something/anything that is productive that I can do. I'm tired of being a bum. Seriously.

7. What date from 2008 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
March 12- :(, March 13- "Damnit", August 8, June 14- My birthday celebration, December 10.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Graduating! :)

9. What was your biggest failure?
Biochem! hahaha what a frustrating subject. And losing myself.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Nope. Except for that one time when my body temperature shot up to 41

11. What was the best thing you bought?
I didn't shop much this year. But I guess dresses and shoes.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
Hahaha not much.

13. Whose behaviour appalled you and made you depressed?
Too many to mention. Seriously.

14. Where did most of your money go?
Christmas gifts. haha

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Summer :)

16. What song will always remind you of 2008?
My summer songs, Love in this club part 1, Thunder, I'm yours, Almost lover, Leavin', Bleeding Love, Always be my baby (David cook), a lot more.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. happier or sadder? --> Definitely sadder.
ii. thinner or fatter? --> Fatter!!!!!
iii. richer or poorer? --> Poorer. :(

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
Think.

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
Think.

20. How will you be spending Christmas?
With the Lorenzanas in Diliman and the Fernandezs at home.

22. Did you fall in love in 2008?
Nope.

23. How many one-night stands?
--

24. What was your favourite TV program?
How I met your mother, Gossip girl, One Tree Hill.

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
No one.

26. What was the best book you read?
The Kite Runner by Khaled Hosseini

27. What was your greatest musical discovery?
We the Kings, FM Static, Yellowcard

28. What did you want and get?
Zip folder to back up my files.

29. What did you want and not get?
A fan? haha

30. Favorite film of this year?
Sex and the city.

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I turned 21. I spent it with my days family, my family, and my best friends :)

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
I'll just keep my mouth shut :)

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2008?
More grown up.

34. What kept you sane?
Jess, My friends!!!!

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Shea lebouf :)

36. What political issue stirred you the most?
US presidential elections

37. Who did you miss?
Missed Ats when she was in Davao! -Same here :)

38. Who was the best new person you met?
Everyone was "best" in their own way.

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2008.
Change is inevitable. Acceptance is the key to moving on.

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
It can not wait, I'm yours// You know all you gotta do is tell me what you're sipping on. And I promise that I'm gonna keep it comin' all night long.// Your voice was the soundtrack of my summer (you'll always be my thunder)// Goodbye my almost lover.//Take one step at a time.

I wanna see you move move shake shake now drop (what your momma said)
Move move shake shake now drop (what your daddy said)
Move move shake shake now drop (what your sista said)
Move move shake shake now drop drop drop drop

Labels: random rants, survey 101, thoughts, year ender

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Give me some good lovin'

Amazing.

I browse through my previous entries and have realized that I used this adjective for the most part of the year.

Amazed at how life has brought me to where I am.
Amazed at how one relationship filled with love and happiness can end just like that.
Amazed at how someone can turn me inside, out and back again.
Amazed at how I turned into who I am right now.
Amazed at how my friends make me feel for always being there and being true.
Amazed at how I realized that finding yourself is one of the most important lessons in life.
Amazed at how change is inevitable, how change is the one thing that will never change.

I am stunned by the perplexity and simplicity of this one thing that is constant.

Everytime I think about it I zone out for a good 30 minutes or so and drown in my thoughts. I think and think, and think. But mostly I feel too. And sometimes it's too much to bear that I feel like I'm about to burst. I overthink. That's what it is.

Someone once told me that you shouldn't think, because thinking kills.

I guess that saying holds some truth till some extent. But I think about it (how ironic), and I realize that I'd rather think my head off and overanalyze every single word said, every underlying meaning attached to each and every sentence and understand the truth of truths in the end than skip the whole process of breaking in two just to get to the end faster.

I'd rather take the long road, smell the roses, watch the sunset and all that hullaballo than miss the scenes and not take anything from it at all.

So I think once more, and have come to the conclusion that 2008 has not been my year. At least for the most part it's been crappy, and miserable. And inspite how much easier it is to just dwell in the sadness, I don't want it to end with me broken.

I want this year to end on a positive note. I really really really do.

So I'm goingto skip all my material wish list, and once more recall the question I asked myself sometime in June.

TRINA, WHAT DO YOU WANT?

I told you I'd get back to you when I find the answer. And I have.

I want happiness. I want to find happiness in my everyday life.

This Christmas, that will be the absolute best gift anyone can ever give me.

That is the absolute best gift that I can give myself.

So next year, when this season comes around once more and I look back on my previous entries, I can say that I have changed because it really is inevitable. I can say that I have changed for the better. I can say that I am finally amazed at how happy I turned out to be.

That will be my new declaration.

Happiness. Because in the end, that's what really counts right?

I've got an angel
She doesn't wear any wings
She wears a heart that can melt my own
She wears a smile that can make me wanna sing
She gives me presents
With her presence alone
She gives me everything I could wish for
She gives me kisses on the lips just for coming home

Labels: declarations, thoughts, year ender

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Give me some good lovin'

Because everyone loves a darn good poet.

“6:59 AM”
Shane Koyczan

I’ve been told
that people in the army
do more by 7:00 am
than I do
in an entire day

but if I wake
at 6:59 am
and turn to you
to trace the outline of your lips
with mine
I will have done enough
and killed no one
in the process.

Should I give up
or should I keep on
chasing pavements?

Labels: happy-happy, love-love, poems

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Give me some good lovin'

I've been up for 14 hours straight with only 3 hours of sleep under my belt. It's been the same old story for weeks now. Girl is tired. Girl thinks too much. Girl can't sleep. I groggily stare at my laptop's screen as my fingers do the typing for me.

As usual, I have my after dinner tea to give me some comfort. Tonight the prime choice is Chai Black Spice Tea with a hint of honey and a few spoon fulls of milk (no splenda). I find it somehow amusing that I get to think better with just a whiff of the spice emanating from my steaming mug. It's not just the normal mug, it's a big ass mug just like the ones in Central Perk (From F.R.I.E.N.D.S.). It was given to me by our club moderator in highschool which is why it holds so many memories for me.

So I take a sip, and I think. I think. I think. and finally I've thought enough. I've been so tired lately. It feels like I've been moving around so much, but in reality I've done nothing but sit motionless watching life pass me by.

Within my sipping tea and scanning surfthechannel, I have realized that there are so many decisions to be made. Lord knows that I have made so many choicse this year which were strongly disapproved by many. The whole world rolled their eyes at me as I made (and keep making) the same mistake over and over, again and again despite knowing what I will see as I approach the finish line. I've always known what was waiting for me in the end, I was just too stubborn to acknowledge it.

Now...now I need to do so. I need to accept, acknowledge, and make a stand. Sometimes it's not the making a stand that's hard...it's the sticking to it part that gets to you. That's the part that makes you fall of the wagon after weeks of avoiding all that is pure and evil.

So here it is. A choice that I have to make in the right now.

Trina, what's your stand?

...Got it?

Now stick to it. Hold on tight. And don't ever let go.

You give it one more chance

Just like the time before

But he already knows

You'd give a hundred more.

Labels: .9, declarations, thoughts

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Give me some good lovin'

A poem of sorts.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"Heartaches...oh and Rain of course."

People say that when it rains
God is giving you his blessing.
Every drop contains hope,
and happiness, and joy.
Every splash on the ground
is a wish fulfilled, a prayer
granted, a will be done.
Every pitter-patter sound
it makes on the roof seems like
protection from evil, and washing
away of sin.

Now there she is, a girl.
standing outside
her house. Wearing nothing
but her blue satin dress
and black ballerina shoes.
Her arms stretched wide open
inviting the whole cosmos to
take her in.
She twirls around feeling the droplets of the
so called blessing fall upon her
head, down to her cheeks, onto
her lips, and finally reaching
her shattered heart.

You know what's great about the rain?
This girl thought.
It's not the blessing, or the hope,
or the happiness and the joy.
It's not the soft splatter on the ground
that grants a prayer, or wish, or will.
It's not the symbolic image of "renewal"
or "freshness" or "change"

What's great about the rain...
The girl thought.
Is the fact that when you're standing
right in the middle of a downpour,
and you close your eyes, and open
your heart...
The tears that have been welling up
inside your enitre being
can freely fall down from your shattered heart
and puffy eyes and weakened soul...

So does this hold any truth then?

The only truth about that saying above.
Is that it protects. The rain protects.
It camouflages those tears, and make it look
like hope, and happiness, and joy,
and wishes, and prayers, and wills.

All you have to do is keep your arms
outstretched. Your eyes closed,
and your heart open.

The rain stops.
The girl in all her satin blue dress glory
stops twirling.
Corsses her arms.
And bows her head.

That...is what's great about the rain.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Oh how I love the rain!
As long as I can help it, I'm trying to not put so much personal input in it. Therefore, no I am not the heroine of the poem.

Thoughts?

Labels: poems, rain

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Give me some good lovin'

Here it is folks, another one of those sleepless nights to look back on. To try to remedy it, here I am watching "SHREK 2" with my brother just to ease my insomnia and my boredom. It's supposed to be a funny, feel good movie so i figured why not give it a shot.

It's raining, it's cold, and it's supposed to calm me down and it's supposed to be magical, but somehow it doesn't have any effect on me. Could it be possible that it's powers have been stripped away along with my cheeriness? I hope dear God that that isn't the case.

I was browsing through my everyday blogs as I always do, and something caught my eye that made me feel even more horrible. What's worse is the fact that I am slightly believing the words that the writer has to offer.

She said that there is no such thing as a "FRESH BEGINNING". It scares me. It scares me shitless that this might hold some sort of truth. She mentions that despite how pure, or honest, and diluded your inentions are for having a new beginning...you're still not going to come out brand new.

I know I don't make any sense right now because i'm just typing like crazy not even minding my grammar and spelling and...whatever.

But please let there be such a thing as a fresh beginning.

Psssst. Be my breath of fresh air?

i remember
when you were driving
driving in your car.

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Give me some good lovin'

Sing with me...because it's fun :)

CATHERINE
My best friend had a little situation
At the end of our senior year
And like a shot, she and Mitchell got married that summer
Carolann getting bigger every minute
Thinking, "What am I doing here?"
While Mitchell's out every night
Being a heavy-metal drummer
They got a little cute house on a little cute street
With a crucifix on the door
Mitchell got a job at the record store in the mall
Just the typical facts of a typical life in a town on the Eastern Shore
I thought about what I wanted
It wasn't like that at all
Made Carolann a cute baby sweater
Thinking "I can do better than that"

In a year or so, I moved to the city
Thinking "What have I got to lose?"
Got a room, got a cat, and got twenty pounds thinner
Met a guy in a class I was taking who you might say
Looked like Tom Cruise
He wouldn't leave me alone 'less I went with him to dinner
And I guess he was cute
And I guess he was sweet
ANd I guess he was good in bed
I gave up my life for a better part of a year
And so I'm starting to think that this maybe might work
And the second it entered my head
He needed to take some time off
Focus on his "career"
He blew me off with a heartfelt letter
I thought "I can do better than that"

You don't have to get a haircute
You don't have to change your shoes
You don't have to like Duran Duran
Just love me

You don't have to put the seat down
You don't have to watch the news
You dont' have to learn to tango
You don't have to eat prosciutto
You don't have to change a thing
Just stay with me

I want you and you and nothing but you
Miles and piles of you
Finally I'll have something worthwhile
To think about each morning

You and you and nothing but you
No substitution will do
Nothing but fresh, undiluted and pure
Top of the line and totally mine!

I don't need any lifetime commitments
I don't need to get hitched tonight
I don't want to throw up your walls and defenses
I don't mean to put on any pressure
But I know what a thing is right
And I spend every day reconfiguring my sense
When we get to my house, take a look at that town
Take a look at how far I've gone

I will never go back
Never look back anymoure
And it feels like my life led right to your side
And will keep me there from now on
Think about what you wanted
Think about what could be
THink about how I love you
Say you'll move in with me
Think of what's great about me and you
Think of the bullshit we've both been through
Think of what's past because we can do better!
We can do better!
We can do better than that!
We can do better than that!

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

YAY! :) Here's to looking like a fool and singing at the top of your lungs just because it's fun. Believe me when i say that it actually is. It really really really is. :)

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Give me some good lovin'

I've sung thousands of songs before. For my parents, for my brother, for friends, for a loved one, for teachers, for practically everyone...but you.

So here it is, a song dedicated to you.

Hear me sing.

Verse 1:

It was mid February.

Probably a Wednesday when you graced my life with your presence. You did it in such a manner that truly knocked me off my feet. I've always had that gift/curse of seeing the possible potentials in a person. I was too scared to admit it at first, admit that you had possiblities...but damn did you have them labeled as "endless". That intrigued me. You intrigued me.

I used to love beginnings, and I still do. It just leaves me with a touch of sadness every now and then when I think of how "we" began. As always it started fairly well. It was all hopscotch with no tears. It was friendship, but not really. It was you and me, and maybe an us...but well, not really.

I thought your stay would be fleeting, like a butterfly grazing its wings on a freshly watered flower petal, or the waft of wet soil in the morning after it softly rained the night before. But I thought wrong, and you stayed...and you settled. And I was happy.

Minutes, hours, days passed by and we were happy. I was happy.

We had our own little world from midnight till daybreak. 12 midnight was my favorite part of the day, and if you think about it...really think about it...that's the start of a new day. And starting the day by talking to you just gave me a surge of energy.

I remember you told me once that you actually didn't mind that it was really late at night that we got to talk. I didn't get to sleep much, neither did you...but it was fine. Truth is, I didn't mind either.

Chorus:

I was happy. (Wasn't I?)

VERSE 2:

Summer came, and I was happy. We were happy. Everything just seemed to fit. You, and me, and maybe an us...definitely an us. It was like waking up to a brand new day filled with rainbows and unicorns. I felt like a kid who owned a new coloring book which drawings were still black and white waiting for my little hands to use the red, green, yellow, orange, and blue crayola to color messily outside the lines. It felt like God saw my good deeds and finally said "This girl deserves something so spectacular", so he gave me you. Everything seemed to be perfect, and I liked it like that. Who wouldn't right?

I thought of you every now and then in different senarios. You know how in "my best friend's wedding", Michael had Jules on a pedestal and Kimi in his arms? At that time, I had you in/on both. On a mighty high pedestal, and yes...in my arms. I thought so highly of you. You seemed so wise, and intelligent, and funny, and suave. Your words, your ways, your maybes, and almosts got the best of me. I was addicted and you were the only type of drug that satisfied my craving.

Chorus:

I was happy.

Bridge:

Until one day, yes that one day came. When you realized that it just wasn't working out anymore.

Silence.

Neglect.

Until one day, yes that one day came. When you told me that there was someone else.

Inevitably I was crushed. I cried (though not in front of you), and I pleaded...but I knew I had lost. You know how you forsee the worst coming? I saw it heading straight towards me, I knew it deep in my heart that it, us, we were going to end...and I couldn't even cushion the blow with some sort of bubble wrap...I collided with it, head on like a car crash being reported on in the 6 o'clock news.

"FLASH REPORT:
Here it is people, on August 4, 2008 at 3:30am ...2 vehicles collided on the South Luzon
express way. The passenger of the red vios seems unscathed and very much alive, but
sadly the driver of the other vehicle...is dead."

That was 4 months ago. It's December now. And I have healed all possible wounds that you have created but they are still slightly raw, liked uncooked steak. And throughout those 4 miserable months I would ask myself why. Why not me? Why her? Was it real? Or was it just me?

Then one day I realized that the answers to all my stupid dumbfounding questions were right in front of the mirror.

The answer was me...and slightly a bit of you.

You see I realized that there was nothing wrong with what I was, who I was, and what I've become. I was and am who I am. But it really just wasn't me. Confusing as it may sound, I was and am just not what you're looking for. And I tell you I've accepted so many things for the last couple of months, but this...this truth took me awhile to digest. And finally there it was... an epiphany.

I wasn't the perfect piece that solved your puzzle.

And that was okay.

Bridge 2:

But here comes the ugly part.

I was never angry with you, or her, or anything remotely close to your existence. But now I am. How unbelievably angry I am with you.

You have angered me in a way that I never thought I would be in my entire life...especially not to you. You who brought me sunshine and daisies, and pixi dust, and oh...everything beautiful the world could possibly offer. But I was wrong. I trusted you too much, gave you the benefit of the doubt and here I am...crashing and burning.

For the whole time that I knew you, I have never written anything like this about you. I have never released such emotion that has withered my moral fibers and true test of character.

You are an asshole and a cheat. And you know it. I know it. We both know it.

I can't say that I'm not to blame either, because at the back of my head I knew you had her. Pictures, and captions, and rumors (sometimes) don't lie. The truth is the truth whether you deny it or not. It always comes out one way or another.

You used me. I despise you for using me that way.

Plus I never ever wanted to be "That girl". You know, "that girl" who he was with because temptation got the best of him. NO. I am fucking NOT that girl.

Sadly I wanted to be friends with you for so long which is why I agreed to it in the beginning. Stupid. I just didn't think you'd be with her.

Now that you're finally ready to be my friend. I'm not. Not like this. Not with the way you acted and treated me, and her. Oh poor her.

The last thing you said to me during our conversation was "Goodbye, friend."

but here's a little piece of news for you. No! No goodbye friend...

Just..."GOODBYE"

REPRISE:

It was mid December.

A Wednesday most definitely when you graced my life with your presence once again. It was also that Wednesday when I realized that this is just not worth it. You aren't worth it.

So here's to spaghetti, and your england football jacket that I loved.
Here's to "honey", and "pookie", and big kisses and big hugs.
Here's to "Yes's?" and the rhetorical "Nothing."
Here's to "Pinky swears" and "Pinky BLOW swears!" *I'll miss this a lot*
Here's to GOOD JOBS! and encouragement.
Here's to the rain, and to the word DAMN (God the way you said it always made me melt)
Here's to "I'm yours" and "Melt with you.", "Go Girl", "your body is a wonderland" and fucking John Mayer.
Here's to late night chats, and calls, and to the pursuite of happyness.
Here's to stories shared, and memories embeded.
Here's to talking on the phone till 5am
Here's to fireworks, and embassy, and sex and the city.
Here's to the suns and the spurs
Here's to "i owe you lunch" and "I'll come visit you soon."
Here's to you my almost lover.

Here's to letting go and my fresh beginning. A new life. Without you.

It hurts. Truly it does. But I don't need people like you in my life. I just have to keep repeating that to myself every now and then. Because as stupid and insane as it may sound. I'll still think about you.

Goodbye..."Friend".

*End Song*

Coda: Fades to black.

Goodbye my almost lover
Goodbye my hopeless dream
So long my luckless romance
my back is turned on you
should have known you
would bring me heartache
almost lovers...always do.

Labels: .9, .freaking9

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Give me some good lovin'

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BEBANG! :)

I love and miss you dearly.

Can't wait for New York :D

Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday
Happy birthday
Happy birthday to you.

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Give me some good lovin'

I'm feeling a little bit under the weather which is kind of odd since I usually know when I'm about to come down with something. My teeth would sort of hurt in a way only feeling it can describe. I'm wearing my favorite Tazmanian Devil sweatshirt which is really big for me right now. It keeps me extra warm and toasty especially in the 'Ber months.

It's extra cold today. My family and I took a stroll along the bay area near Mall of Asia, and boy was I freezing. Good thing I had my hot praline coffee from starbucks to remove the icky goosebumps forming on my skin. I was also holding my new 2009 Starbucks planner (in red!) which made me extra warm and fuzzy from a tad bit of happiness.

What else happened today? Well I had my mock NMAT at 8:30am. It really started at 8am, but I overslept. I enjoyed the cool breeze in my room so much that I just had to get at least 15 minutes more of my usual pillow time.

We also went to the science discovery center in MOA (I really don't like callign it that, but I didn't want to type the whole thing. Funny though because I typed more things by explaining why I did such. haha) which I absolutely loved! We wrote e-mails to our future self, operated on a "human being", played grossology (I totally won!). It was amazing. hahaha

The thing is, one weird (I guess) fact about me is that besides loving music, books, and shoes...

I ABSOFREAKINGLUTELY LOVE MUSEUMS!

If I had a chance to do so, I would just spend my idle time walking and browsing through antiques, pure history told through pictures and artifacts, human made dioramas...etc. etc. There's just something about museums that take me away from the real world. Being a person who loves to travel, I guess it's a way of escaping and being transported to another life time worth knowing. World history was actually one of my favorite subjects in school (okay, where did that come from?).

Hmmm. Speaking of walking and browsing...I spent a good one hour in powerbooks greenbelt today. It seems to be my new "hang-out" spot. haha. It took me more or less 30 minutes to decide on what book to read while waiting for my family. I just kept browsing through the bookshelves marked 'fiction' reading from blurb to blurb, until I finally decided on the book by Murakami called "Sputnik Sweetheart".

Besides the author, it was really the title that caught my attention. You see, I hate the word "sweetheart" for some weird reason. Every single time Jean (hi gummybear!) uses it as a term of endearment I just get all freaked out. Haha. It was very interesting. Made me decide that I want to fix my bookshelf and add a lot of Murakami books to make it even more colorful.

Haaay, I really feel it coming na. My teeth are slightly quivering, and my eyes feel really heavy.

What sucks more is that it's not just the weather that's turning cold.

So is my writing. Pweh!

P.S. Sara Bareilles just told our story in a song. hellogoodbye.

I thought i thought i was ready to bleed
That we'd move from the shadows on the wall
And stand in the center of it all
Too late two choices to stay or to leave
Mine was so easy to uncover
He'd already left with the other
So i've learned to listen through silence

Labels: books, fresh beginning., random rants, trina

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Give me some good lovin'

My fingers are really itching right now.

Funny how my mind wanders. Then again, it isn't that funny.

New webcam. Yay? Fine. Yay!

La la la la

I don't want you to
go to bed, mad at me
and I don't want me
to go to bed mad at you.

Labels: random rants

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Give me some good lovin'

Is this feeling possible?! Hmmm...I can't believe I'm actually feeling a bit of the Christmas spirit. Even though it is one of my most favoritest (yes, I wanted my writing to be grammatically incorrect) holiday season of all time, somehow I thought I wouldn't be feeling it this year. I guess things are actually picking up.

Every once in awhile I listen to Lucas Scott's voice in the background of OTH's moving images and it helps. Just like what I said before, some of the best advice are the unsolicited ones.

ADVANCED MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE. LET'S ALL FEEL THE CHRISTMAS SPIRIT!

Here's a little Chris Brown just to help you enjoy the upcoming holiday even more :) Yay!

Labels: Chris Brown, Christmas, happy-happy, Holidays, music

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Give me some good lovin'

It's 4:13 am, and as usual I am still WIDE AWAKE. Very tired, but wide awake.

Wow. 3 entries in one day. Nothing significant. Just random rants.

I'm still very hungry. I've been debating on whether I should go down and grab something to eat. I've been doing that since 2:30, and instead of actually eating, I'm watching season 1 of OTH once more.

I want some Wendy's. Haaay.

And just because I miss Grey's Anatomy...here's a little Meridith and Derek for everyone.

I totally miss.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Meredith: I can't... I can't remember our last kiss. All I could think about was I'm going to die today and I can't remember our last kiss. Which is pathetic, but the last time we were together and happy I want to be able to remember that. And I can't Derek. I can't remember.

Derek: I'm glad you didn't die today. (goes to leave but turns around)

It was a Thursday morning. You were wearing that ratty little Dartmouth t shirt you look so good in. The one with the hole in the back of the neck. You'd just washed your hair and you smelled like some kind of flower. I was running late for surgery. You said you were gonna see me later and you leaned to me, you put your hand on my chest and you kissed me. Soft. Was quick, kinda like a habit. You know, like we'd do it every day for the rest of our lives. You went back to reading the newspaper and I went to work. That was the last time we kissed.

Meredith: Lavender. My hair smelled like lavender from my conditioner.

Derek: Lavender. huh.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

All my lasts with you are quite clear. Is it supposed to be like that? Hmmmm.

I don't wanna be
anything other than
what I've been
trying to be lately.

Labels: cravings 101, Grey's Anatomy, Lasts, random rants

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Give me some good lovin'

I've been so MIA with rockwell lately that I've actually missed out on this:

~~Hello Baby!~~

BAD BAD BAD! Thanks Bei for giving me a new blog to preoccupy myself with. Haha

Labels: cravings 101, dessert, random rants

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Give me some good lovin'

One of the most stupid things happened to me awhile ago. I was waiting for some people to reply, and in my mind I'm thinking, I guess it's not tuloy na. So I was gonna check my phone again just in case I didn't hear it beep...then lo and behold, it was OFF! Freakin' A! What a stupid mistake eh? Now I don't even know if they did reply, but I didn't catch it because my phone was off...or they just didn't reply. hahaha oh well

I'm excited for this weekend. I'm liking possibilities again, ergo good weekend up ahead.

1.) There's a possibility of seeing my friends again. Dinner please.
2.) There's a possibility of selling A LOT of goodies. I'm really excited about this. (Click my links, and go visit stellar*sublime accessories :)
3.) There's a possibility for happiness. This, I am most excited about.

So in the advent of rummaging through other people's ljs (and chictopias), I found this. Just something to post :)

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

The One That Got Away

Source: The Manila Times

By: Mark J. Macapagal

In your life, you’ll make note of a lot of people. Ones with whom you shared something special, ones who will always mean something. There’s the one you first kissed, the one you first loved, the one you lost your virginity to, the one you put on a pedestal, the one you’re with…and the one that got away.

Who is the one that got away? I guess it’s that person with who everything was great, everything was perfect, but the timing was just wrong. There was no fault in the person, there was no flaw in the chemistry, but the cards just didn’t fall the right way, I suppose.

I believe in the fact that ending up with someone, finding a longtime partner that is, does not lie merely in the other person. I can actually argue that an equal part, or maybe even the greater part, has to do with the matter of timing. It has to do with you being ready to settle down and commit to someone in a way that goes beyond the little niceties of giddy romance.

How often have you gone through it without even realizing it? When you’re not ready to commit in that mature manner, it doesn’t matter who you’re with, it just doesn’t work. Small problems become big; inconsequentials become dealbreakers simply because you’re not ready and it shows. It’s not that you and the person you’re with are no good; it’s just that it’s not yet right, and little things become the flashpoint of that fact.

Then one day you’re ready. You really are. And when this happens you’ll be ready to settle down with someone. He or she may not be the most perfect, they might not be the brightest star of romance to ever have burned in your life, but it’ll work because you’re ready. It’ll work because it’s the right time and you’ll make it work. And it’ll make sense, it really will.

So that day comes when you’re finally making sense of things, and you find yourself to be a different person. Things are different, your approach is different, you finally understand who you are and what you want, and you’ve become ready because the time has truly arrived. And mind you, there’s no telling when this day will come. Hopefully you’re single but you could be in a long-term relationship, you could be married with three kids, it doesn’t matter. All you know is that you’ve changed, and for some reason, the one that got away, is the first person you think about.

You’ll think about them because you’ll wonder, “What if they were here today?” You’ll wonder, “What if we were together now, with me as I am and not as I was?” That’s what the one that got away is. The biggest “What if?” you’ll have in your life.

If you’re married, you’ll just have to accept the fact that the one that got away, got away. Believe me, no matter how fairy tale you think your marriage is, this can happen to the best of us. But hopefully you’re mature enough to realize that you’re already with the one you’re with and this is just another test of your commitment, one which will just strengthen your marriage when you get past it. Sure, you’ll think about him/her every so often, but it’s alright. It’s never nice to live with a “might have been,” but it happens.

Maybe the one that got away is the one who’s already married. In which case it’s the same thing. You just have to accept and know that your memories of that person will probably bring a nice little smile to your lips in the future when you’re old and gray and reminiscing.

But if neither of that is the case, then it’s different. What do you do if it’s not yet too late? Simple…find him, find her. Because the very existence of a “one that got away” means that you’ll always wonder, what if you got that one?

Ask him out to coffee, ask her out to a movie, it doesn’t matter if you’ve dropped in from out of nowhere. You’d be surprised, you just might be “the one that got away” as well for the person who is your “the one that got away.”

You might drop in from out of nowhere and it won’t make a difference. If the timing is finally right, it’ll all just fall into place somehow and you know, I’m thinking, it would be a great feeling, in the end, to be able to say to someone, “Hey you, you’re the one that almost got away.”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

I guess it's true what they say huh? The most hopelessly romantic people, are those who are actually single. HAHA! :)

Happiness...come and get me ;)

BACKSTREET'S BACK ALRIGHT!

Labels: inspirational, love-love

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Give me some good lovin'

Reposted from a repost of a repost of a repost.

PART ONE:

If you love someone, ask them for nothing.
Don't hold them back from their destiny.
Don't keep them from going off in search of their own answers.

Don't ask them for commitment.
You will know commitment is real when it is something giving willingly
and not as something obligatory.

Don't ask them for promises.

If you are patient, if you have faith, you will knkow in your heart when
the right time for promises has come.

And when that time arrives,
then you will see that you ahve both lost nothing by setting each other free,
and have instead gained a richer, fuller life,
a wealth of experiences,
and a stronger certainty of your desires.

But should they not return to you,
then life hasn't cheated you because no promises were broken.
Your bitterness will not last long,
and you will feel thankful and blessed that at the very least,
this beautiful soul has colored your life,
that knowing them has already made life infinitely more meaningful.

By setting a person free,
you run a risk of them not returning.
But always remember that you found them beautiful precisely because they were free.
People are like sunlight. You can feel their warmth, and their glow,
but you can't hold them in your hand and keep them with you forever.

People CHOOSE to stay.

But a choice is made more meaningful when it is made despite so many other options.

Love ahs no restrictions and it is through mistakes
that sometimes we see the right answer.

Because if you love someone,
you ask them for nothing
and they will come back to you.

PART TWO:

People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime.
When you know which it is, you know exactly what to do.

When people come into your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed outwardly or inwardly. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally, or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend, and they are. They are there for a reason you need them to be. Then, without any wrong-doing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up or out and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfulled; their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered and it is now time to move on.

When people come into your life for a SEASON, it is because your turn has come to share, grow, or learn. They may bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it! It is real! But only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons; those things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person/people (anyway); and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life. It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant. Thank you for being a part of my life

PRAYER:
May today there be peace within you.
May you trust God that you are exactly where you are meant to be.
May you not forget the infinite possibilities that are born of faith.
May you use those gifts that you have received, and pass on the love that has been given to you.
May you be content knowing that you are a child of God.
Let His presence settle into your bones, and allow your soul the freedom to sing, dance, and to bask in the sun.
It is there for each and every one of you.

By Brian Andrew "Drew" Chalker

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

I don't quite agree on the whole REASON thing though. People chose to stay. That is a fact. If they're done with the purpose they think they've fulfilled, then maybe it's time to help in another field. Truth of the matter is, if someone wants to be a part of your life, they'll find reasons to be in it.

Favorite, this one's for you :)

You're on fire
when she's near you
I'm on fire
when you're near me..

Labels: inspirational, love-love, opinions

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Give me some good lovin'

I am seriously craving for really really good and authentic sushi. I'm such a Lorenzana for loving Japanese food too much. It's weird though because I just had Japanese two days ago with my family. Shopping for great shoes at Cuenca made me all hungjizzled. Good Japanese food plus dessert at...freak I forgot the Mexican restaurant over at West Gate! My favorite Banana Flambe took 15-20 minutes to prepare, but it was soooo worth it. I promise to post a picture of it soon.

Blah blah blah. These are just random rants of a 21 year old who's really hungry. I've been hungry since bizarre eats with Andrew Zimmerman (is that how you spell his last name?).

Ooooh 5am. I better sleep right about now.

Hopefully I get my sushi tomorrow. I somewhat want KFC as well. Hay kababuyan! haha :))

By the By... I changed the look of my blog. I am a happy happy kid. Yay! :)

I've got your picture, I've got your picture

I'd like a million of you all round my cell

I want a doctor to take your picture

So I can look at you from inside as well

You've got me turning up and turning down

And turning in and turning 'round

Labels: cravings 101, random rants

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Give me some good lovin'

Title: Hook. Line. and fucking Sinker.

Amidst all the Sandman's nightmarish images, there's this dialogue about LOVE that's almost kitchy, but painfuly true:

"Love, it makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens your heart, and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses. You build up this whole armor, for years, so nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life... You give them a piece of you. They don't ask for it, they do something dumb one day like kiss you, or smile at you and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inisde you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so a simple phrase like "Maybe we should just be friends" or "How very perceptive" turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart.

IT HURTS. NOT JUST IN THE IMAGINATION. NOT JUST IN THE MIND. IT'S A SOULD-HURT, A BODY-HURT, A REAL GETS-INSIDE-YOU-AND-RIPS-YOU-APART-PAIN. Nothing should be able to do that. Especially not Love."

-Rose Walker in the Sandman: The kindly ones

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

I'm tired.

I'm so tired of hiding, pretending, and everything in between.
I'm sick of shutting up because as my friends know, I am Ms. Let-it-all-out. Even I am surprising myself with my will power to just keep quiet and have sleepless nights instead. Fact is, it's been too long. Even I think that it's been too long and quite sick for the matter. I'm tired of knowing how pathetic I sound already whenever the topic even just slightly hits the curb of what used to be. I steer clear, and pretend that it's gone. It's gone. It's gone. It's gone.

How did I become this person? Seriously.

I've never been one to have doubts about such a feeling that brings magic (yes, i've experienced it), wonder, and awe into people's lives. I can't believe I'm having second thoughts on risking possibilities, on backing down on fights worth fighting for.

I'm stronger than this. I know I am. And I haven't doubted that part one bit...but it doesn't change the fact that it/you/he/she is ever present...alive and kicking.

But I'm not angry. I never was, and I don't think I ever will be...which makes it even more difficult. Although, I am slightly amused (and not in a good sense) that everything seems to be going your way, no...I am not angry.

So here I am typing away at 3:45 in the morning, on a Sunday night (monday morning actually) I might add, waiting for the real Ms. Trina to release even just a little bit.

So here's the truth.

1.) I am tired. Truly tired.
2.) I just want to be happy despite/inspite whatever.
3.) It's not gone. Even if you are...IT...is not.
4.) I want/need a fucking soul vacation.
5.) I wanna get over this hump. REALLY REALLY.

and the last piece of truth which is the truth of all truths...

6.) If you want me, you can have me...because truthfully, YOU'VE GOT ME. Hook. Line. and fucking Sinker.

La la la la

Goodnight world, and once again...happy December 1st (LET THE COUNTDOWN BEGIN)!

P.S. To my friends, please be patient. I know this isn't really who I am, this isn't the person you befriended. My sincere appologies.

And big girls don't cry.

Labels: .9, love-love

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Give me some good lovin'

Title: I have a wish.

Happy (?) December 1st everyone.

Let the countdown begin.

Hopeful? Very.

I wanted to hold you

I wanted to make it go away

I wanted to know you

I wanted to make your everything...alright.

Labels: .9

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Give me some good lovin'