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C-H-A-N-G-E-S
4:55 AM - Monday, March 23, 2009
One week and 1 day.
That's how long it's been since I stepped on the marble floors of the NAIA airport at 3 in the morning, awaiting our 6:30 am flight. I haven't been able to update my blog partly due to our (shall I say?) hectic schedule. We've been to a couple of stores, bought clothes and shoes here and there, and enjoyed conversations so much that I haven't had my usual "me" time.
At a certain point of every day, I like to immerse myself in...well, me. I know it sounds selfish, but I love "me" time. I'm sure you get what I mean.
I turn on the radio or play my ipod (favorite playlist=STELLARSUBLIME) and turn up the volume to 13, and just either sing at the top of my lungs as I look at my everyday blogs and sites, or hum the tune quietly in my head whilst thinking of random shiz.
After all the talking I've done with my relatives this past week, I am now catching up with myslef. I put on my anti-social mask and headed staright to my room while my mum, brother, cousin, tito and tita's voices are resonating in the lower level of the house. Somehow it sounds like they're having fun while making dinner and doing laundry, but I'll just join them later on.
Let's go back to me.
I guess it's safe to say that my bestfriend's predictions are starting to come true. I've changed very slightly in a way that isn't so noticable, but if you really knew me...you'd see that I've tweaked a few things here and there.
Besides the possible weight gain, the minor changes include coffee, shoe size, body wash, and the contents of my bag.
I like my coffee black now. Black with two packets of Aspartame (Splenda please). I really enjoy it now! Somehow the sweetness and bitterness collide perfectly with each other, that I've decided to stick through my decision.
My shoe size here in the US seems to be a 1/2 a size bigger. Not much of a woah change, but still a change.
I like ginger and wild flower, plus Dove's cucumber and green tea scent. Yummy.
And lastly, I've added a new addition to my hand bag's contents. Ladies and gentlemen, may I introduce you to the best thing ever... FEBREZE! It smells wonderful! I'm going to carry it around, everywhere. I laugh at myself for being attracted to the smell, not minding the price or the brand. Just as long as it makes me smell good.
Okay enough selfish time, my brother has penetrated me time, turned off my radio, turned on the TV and is now watching the new episodes of Spongebob.
Till the next "me" time.
Later!
Who lives in a pineapple
under the sea?
SPONGEBOB
SQUAREPANTS!
Labels: random rants, summer, trina, USA 2009
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Give me some good lovin'
I'm gonna tell you the future.
9:56 AM - Friday, March 20, 2009
V1
Sit down, give me your hand
I'm gonna tell you the future
I see you, living happily
With somebody who really suits ya
Someone like me
Br
Stand still. Breath in
Are you listening?
Ch
You don't know
Somebody's aching. Keeping it all in
Somebody won't let go of his heart but the truth is
It's painless
Letting your love show
V2
Break down. Give me some time
I don't want the fear to confuse ya
Right now, it's so wrong
But maybe it's all in the future with
Someone like you
Br
Stand still. Breath in
Are you listening?
Ch
You don't know
Somebody's aching. Keeping it all in
Somebody won't let go of his heart but the truth is
It's painless
Letting your love show
Mid 8
Maybe truth, maybe lies
Made me want you
Maybe dumb, maybe wise...?
I don't know
Ch
Somebody's aching. Keeping it all in
Somebody won't let go of his heart but the truth is
It's painless
Letting your love show
You don't know
Somebody's hurting. Holding it all in
Somebody can't let go of his heart but the truth is
It's painless
Letting your love show
Love show
Letting your love show
*********************
I read it once, or twice (Okay fine, a hundred) somewhere that when you make a secret of the love of your life, your life makes a secret of love.
Let it out.
Stomp around.
Scream.
Tell the world.
Then maybe, you can tell me.
Labels: lyrics, songs, summer, summer love
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Give me some good lovin'
Magic lies in the truth.
12:11 AM - Thursday, March 19, 2009
Sometimes, when I'm underwater, I wish it would rain. That would be pretty cool huh? I'm going to look back on that and say, "Remember that time it rained underwater?"
I heard it was raining back home in the middle of summer. Makes me miss home a little bit :)
It's the perfect time for a summer love right? hahaha
Oh Trina, shut your trap.
All I can say
is that my life
is pretty plain.
And I like to watch
the puddles gather rain.
Labels: rain, random rants, random thoughts, summer, summer love.
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Give me some good lovin'
A different kind of greeting.
2:30 AM - Tuesday, March 10, 2009
I don't think I have the courage to greet you this year, so I'll do it here.
BIRTHDAY.
Is that too mean? To wish you a happy birthday without the happy...just birthday. It's still a greeting right?
Maybe next year. Maybe not at all.
This is supposed to be my secret entry. For once I want blogspot to be able to hide entries. Damn you blogger. Seriously.
----------------
Now playing:
John Mayer - I'm Gonna Find Another Youvia FoxyTunes *How very apt.
Labels: .freaking9, birthdays, random rants, random rants thoughts, summer, who else, wishes
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Give me some good lovin'
A lingering thought.
1:32 AM
I seriously want to write about something that's been swimming around my thoughts ever since I glanced upon the pictures of the eheads concert. I will write about it soon, I promise. Just not now because I'm too lazy...and I feel like I'm on a high due to 2 packs of milk tea. Wonder-freaking-ful.
Where were you tonight btw?
Filling in the outlines
Of memories that we could never draw in
Then running in these circles
Will make us dizzy, we’ll just keep on falling
----------------
Now playing:
Five Times August - So Typicalvia FoxyTunesLabels: firsts, fun finds, random thoughts, songs, summer, trina
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Give me some good lovin'
And the Nostalgia kicks in like crazy.
11:34 AM - Sunday, March 8, 2009
I need you to give me the chance to take you for granted.Seriously."I had the sadness and too much of it. There's no chemo for that except time."
civil? I fucking hate civil. Plus, MARCH 8 NA! Pwede ba, ONE YEAR NA! :s Don't go away again,
I want to be more than a phone call at 4 A.M.
Seems like every time you come back home
It's just to steal my heart and leave
Don't go away again,
I want to be more than a story to tell your friends
Seems like every time you come back home
It's just to make me fall again
Labels: Challenge., declarations, sadness, someday, songs, summer, time, who else
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Give me some good lovin'
You're neither friend nor foe.
3:16 AM
I really think it's time to say goodbye.
Goodbye :)
And btw. I'm not that stupid.
(Challenge 2...fail:s) Oh twice as much aint twice as good
And can't sustain like a one half could
It's wanting more
That's gonna send me to my knees
Labels: .9, Challenge., summer, temptation
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Give me some good lovin'
This will be the difference...
11:27 PM - Thursday, March 5, 2009
I know it's been like my third post today, but I really have to put this so I always remember this moment.
My best friend just messaged me a few lines of encouragement after my long babbling and complaining, and I love how two simple lines made me feel so much better.
"It's okay na, kaya mo yan :) This summer will be different. And when you come back, it will also be different :)"Thanks Best :) I super love you!
THIS SUMMER WILL BE DIFFERENT. IT'LL BE BETTER.(And hopefully, the good times will last.)I was just a boy like every other
I thought I was something fierce
I thought I was ten times smarter
Love would be something that I just know
(Something I just know)
How you gonna know the feeling till you've lost it
I've been losing plenty since
Labels: best friends, inspirational, soul vacation, summer, summer love, trina
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Give me some good lovin'
Remember to forget.
11:05 PM
My second entry of the day will somewhat be in tagalog, just because I feel that there will be more emphasis and emotion by doing so.
(Just a short disclaimer. I am absolutely NOT very good with my native tongue. I'm not proud of it :s But I felt like I needed to explain, just in case I say or spell something incorrectly. HAHA)
CHALLENGE LANG YAN.
SERIOSO.Pwede bang magsitigil ka na sa kaka muni-muni mo, dahil hindi talaga makakabuti sayo. Parang sinasabi lang sayo ni Jess na "O ayan Trina, papamukha ko sayo yan para maging mas malakas ka...para matignan mo sa mukha yung problema at maisip mo na isa lang itong pagsusubok."
CHALLENGE LANG YAN.
(Switch back to english)
He shows it to me not to remember...but to remember to forget.And I soooo want to overcome this challenge.
Bring it fucking on.
We've all got scars as big as ours
A token for the pain we hide inside of us
Everyone's scared that somebody knows
You push it aside, yeah that's how it goes
If you've ever heard a beating heart
A rhythm for the songs we're too afraid to sing
Nobody here is perfectly fine
A delicate frame, a fragile design
If there's a hole in your heart
You gotta pull it together
It takes the courage to start
But now is better than never
It takes a push and a shove
Somehow it's never enough
And its alarming how quickly we forget that
Nothing's bigger than love
Nothing's bigger than love
Nothing's bigger than love
All you need, all you need, all you need is love
Some people change and some just won't
You can't take back the words you wish you'd never said
Promises break and lovers will lie
You hold up your hands and let out a sigh
So smile right before you fall
And lay beside this mess and call it consequence
Somebody said that life isn't fair
When somebody else was saying a prayer'
Cause no-one's taking me out
And nothing's pulling me down
I turn my head to the crowd
This love is big and it's loud
This is a car in the crash
This is the light in the flash
This is the answers you know
But you're just too scared to ask
If there's a hole in your heart
You gotta pull it together
It takes the courage to start
But now is better than never
It takes a push and a shove
Somehow it's never enough
Somehow it's never enough
(Still. OVER AND OVER AND OVER.
I'll never EVER get sick of this song.)
Labels: always love, Challenge., good advice, nothing's bigger than love, random rants, random thoughts, someday, songs, summer, trina, true love always
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Give me some good lovin'
The summer chronicles ☼
8:40 PM - Sunday, March 1, 2009
Happy March 1 everyone. :s
It's summer again. Yey. (Please sense the sarcastic tone)
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Happy birthday Jamsey!
Oh and Samantha. I accept your challenge. In all...its...entirety.
Turn me inside out so i can see
a part of you that's drifting over me
When I wake you're never there
When I sleep you're everywhere.
You're everywhere.
Labels: birthdays, boo., march, summer
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Give me some good lovin'
What color do you see?
12:40 AM - Thursday, February 26, 2009
Somehow...
I
can't
stop
reading.I used to think that words were just mere letters strung together to be able to converse without talking.
Now I realize that they are actually symbols of feelings, emotions, and everything else in between.
It's true what they say about silence. That it speaks in a language that sometimes only you and one other person can understand. At times, others try to comprehend what both of you are trying to say, but in the end they give up because they're just not on the same wavelength.
It's also true that big things come from little things.
For example, the way one compliment like "You look radiant today" can make a person's day.
...that simple gestures lead to grandiose ones.
Like the way you hold the door open for someone, and a smile is elicited from their face.
...and that big messages come from a variation of three to seven words.
Like:
Hello stranger.or.thank you.or.with love.or.forgive me.or.I missed you.or.I forgive you.or.I loved you.or.I choose us.or.How has life been?.or.I've been thinking about you.or.Do you remember summertime?.or.I smiled hearing our favorite song.or.You make me want to be better.
So if you're reading this, don't read it aloud. Scan these words that I've used to symbolize the things I'm feeling right now.
Through silence, remember me. Remember us.
To my past, past progressive, and future:
Hello stranger. I've missed you these past few days. I want you to know that I forgive you and all those random shitty things you've done to me. You know, I truly loved you, and it saddens me that it ended that way. You may not want to believe me, but I speak the truth. In turn, I hope that you have forgiven me. In the future, I want you to know that despite whatever, I would choose us.
On a lighter note, it's been awhile since we conversed...how has your life been? Are you happy? I hope you are. I think about it sometimes, I've been thinking about you too, and i wonder, do you remember the summertime? I do. Being a music geek that I am, I listen to random songs all the time...and just this morning, I smiled hearing our favorite song.
Anyway, because of everything that has happened, you've made me want to be a better person.
Thank you for that.
With Love,
Trina
P.S. Did you hear me through the silence? Sometimes I hear you too.
I love the way
You live so intensely
Enjoy every minute of life
With space to swing
Your arms around
Laughing loudly
Labels: .9, favorites, future, hEXES, inspirational, letters, songs, summer, summer love, trina
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Give me some good lovin'
He kissed my lips, I taste your mouth.
6:17 AM - Tuesday, February 17, 2009
I talked to a friend earlier today (I mean really early), and somehow I'm not ashamed to say that our conversation got me to think about you and what was. It's been almost a year since you and I first exchanged a few words, and what-nots. It was sometime in February, I am very certain, when you made a comment about my avatar picture. And even though I knew you used a line as your bait... I took it wholey, and you reeled me in...entirely. It was sometime in mid March too that I somehow knew I felt something for you for sure. That I knew I could actually be with you.
Anyway, nostalgia kicked in because of the situation my buddy is in right now, and all I could think of was... that used to be me. I know there are some tweaks and turns in the story, but bottom line... there was someone else. His story's ending hasn't been decided yet, I'm pulling for the better ending and not the bitter one which I got. Haha
More on the topic of L.U.V.
My best friend Fran and I decided that we would be each other's date on V-day. We had dinner with my family, exchanged a few stories, and then watched a movie entitled "Strictly Sexual".
The story goes... 2 girls hire 2 men to be their boy toys (if you know what I mean, wink wink), rules are made: hence the title, it's pure work no emotions blah blah blah...long story short, despite the rules... both parties fell in love.
I know the plot sounds like a typical chick flick type of thing, and I'm surely not going to deny it...it actually is. But Fran and I absolutely loved it to the point that it brought a few tears to our eyes. You see, I'm not going to spoil the movie for you incase you want to see it, but I love how the movie showed that there are some loves that really don't work despite and inspite whatever. It was rapid, and passionate...and seemingly perfect, but it just doesn't go the way you want it. It doesn't matter how much you love each other, it just comes to a point where you don't even have words left to say. On the other hand, there are relationships that develop in a gradual, "we're-still-unsure-of-what-we-feel-for-each-other" manner which in the end are the ones worth fighting for.
Somehow the movie made me sad, but allowed me to understand things even more. It got me thinking, and I've realized a few things.
I'm better now. Much better than I was a few months back, and I must say that I think about you. Not often, but I still do. I remember you every now and then because of certain hints like songs on the radio, or random words people around me say that you used to say, or dates...I remember dates. Small moments.
My biggest realization is that I've accepted the fact that I felt so much more for you than you did towards me.
Over the phone, my friend was trying to explain how he felt for this girl. Lines like "She's THE one", and "She seems to be worth everything that I've done for her." or "I can see myself with her...us together" blah blah blah, and I was thinking... My God I can hear the old me through his words at the very moment. I wanted to tell him, "Dude, you don't have to tell me, I know exactly what you're feeling". Because I did, I really really did.
It doesn't even matter somehow that in the end, you really weren't who you said you were... because I seriously thought you were the one for me. You allowed me to feel how it felt to like somebody so much to the point that I saw myself with you...sharing everything with you, and asking you how your day went. I saw the possibility that you knew everything anyone would tell me, because my secret would be your secret too and vice versa. I saw you in family dinners, and I saw myself in Christmases with yours etc etc. I felt it in my heart that I could introduce you to my relatives and friends and say "He's my boyfriend. He's with me. He's the one."
It's funny how I'm open about it now. In the past I would've been so afraid to say this out loud because I knew how freaked out you would be, and I knew we weren't on the same ground. But now it doesn't matter anymore, because we're really out of each other's radar. You're obviously happy with her, and I'm finally okay with being single without you. I'm thinking about everything now, and the phrase "No Regrets" still holds some truth in the end.
There are some things that I wish I didn't do, but truthfully, what happened made me stronger and wiser. I've come to a realization which points out the fact that we're really not meant for each other. That's just the way it is. I used to pitty myself and go "I'm just not the one for you", but now I think "You're not the one for me"...and that's really fine, no bitterness whatsoever.
I get it now. I really do.
Right now, I'm just waiting...because that's all I can do for now. I'm waiting for the day when I'll bump into someone, and feel the same way that I did for you but much more. And when that time does come, I'll be think of you in a way that I used to for the last time and say "Thank you. Thank you for not choosing me." In the end, I'll have a huge smile in my heart, and I'll be happy.
Yeah, that sounds good doesn't it? :) Let's make it a plan.
You're like an Indian summer
In the middle of winter
Like a hard candy
With a surprise center
How do I get better
Once I've had the best
You said there's
Tons of fish in the water
So the waters I will test
Labels: .9, love-love, music., someday, summer, summer love, the future, thoughts, trina, what-nots
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Give me some good lovin'
Can I be that perfect girl (Oh the month of April)?
12:15 AM - Friday, January 23, 2009
Haruki Murakami: On seeing the 100% perfect girl one beautiful April morning
One beautiful April morning, on a narrow side street in Tokyo's fashionable Harujuku neighborhood, I walked past the 100% perfect girl.
Tell you the truth, she's not that good-looking. She doesn't stand out in any way. Her clothes are nothing special. The back of her hair is still bent out of shape from sleep. She isn't young, either - must be near thirty, not even close to a "girl," properly speaking. But still, I know from fifty yards away: She's the 100% perfect girl for me. The moment I see her, there's a rumbling in my chest, and my mouth is as dry as a desert.
Maybe you have your own particular favorite type of girl - one with slim ankles, say, or big eyes, or graceful fingers, or you're drawn for no good reason to girls who take their time with every meal. I have my own preferences, of course. Sometimes in a restaurant I'll catch myself staring at the girl at the next table to mine because I like the shape of her nose.
But no one can insist that his 100% perfect girl correspond to some preconceived type. Much as I like noses, I can't recall the shape of hers - or even if she had one. All I can remember for sure is that she was no great beauty. It's weird.
"Yesterday on the street I passed the 100% girl," I tell someone.
"Yeah?" he says. "Good-looking?"
"Not really."
"Your favorite type, then?"
"I don't know. I can't seem to remember anything about her - the shape of her eyes or the size of her breasts."
"Strange."
"Yeah. Strange."
"So anyhow," he says, already bored, "what did you do? Talk to her? Follow her?"
"Nah. Just passed her on the street."
She's walking east to west, and I west to east. It's a really nice April morning.
Wish I could talk to her. Half an hour would be plenty: just ask her about herself, tell her about myself, and - what I'd really like to do - explain to her the complexities of fate that have led to our passing each other on a side street in Harajuku on a beautiful April morning in 1981. This was something sure to be crammed full of warm secrets, like an antique clock build when peace filled the world.
After talking, we'd have lunch somewhere, maybe see a Woody Allen movie, stop by a hotel bar for cocktails. With any kind of luck, we might end up in bed.
Potentiality knocks on the door of my heart.
Now the distance between us has narrowed to fifteen yards.
How can I approach her? What should I say?
"Good morning, miss. Do you think you could spare half an hour for a little conversation?"
Ridiculous. I'd sound like an insurance salesman.
"Pardon me, but would you happen to know if there is an all-night cleaners in the neighborhood?"
No, this is just as ridiculous. I'm not carrying any laundry, for one thing. Who's going to buy a line like that?
Maybe the simple truth would do. "Good morning. You are the 100% perfect girl for me."
No, she wouldn't believe it. Or even if she did, she might not want to talk to me. Sorry, she could say, I might be the 100% perfect girl for you, but you're not the 100% boy for me. It could happen. And if I found myself in that situation, I'd probably go to pieces. I'd never recover from the shock. I'm thirty-two, and that's what growing older is all about.
We pass in front of a flower shop. A small, warm air mass touches my skin. The asphalt is damp, and I catch the scent of roses. I can't bring myself to speak to her. She wears a white sweater, and in her right hand she holds a crisp white envelope lacking only a stamp. So: She's written somebody a letter, maybe spent the whole night writing, to judge from the sleepy look in her eyes. The envelope could contain every secret she's ever had.
I take a few more strides and turn: She's lost in the crowd.
Now, of course, I know exactly what I should have said to her. It would have been a long speech, though, far too long for me to have delivered it properly. The ideas I come up with are never very practical.
Oh, well. It would have started "Once upon a time" and ended "A sad story, don't you think?"
Once upon a time, there lived a boy and a girl. The boy was eighteen and the girl sixteen. He was not unusually handsome, and she was not especially beautiful. They were just an ordinary lonely boy and an ordinary lonely girl, like all the others. But they believed with their whole hearts that somewhere in the world there lived the 100% perfect boy and the 100% perfect girl for them. Yes, they believed in a miracle. And that miracle actually happened.
One day the two came upon each other on the corner of a street.
"This is amazing," he said. "I've been looking for you all my life. You may not believe this, but you're the 100% perfect girl for me."
"And you," she said to him, "are the 100% perfect boy for me, exactly as I'd pictured you in every detail. It's like a dream."
They sat on a park bench, held hands, and told each other their stories hour after hour. They were not lonely anymore. They had found and been found by their 100% perfect other. What a wonderful thing it is to find and be found by your 100% perfect other. It's a miracle, a cosmic miracle.
As they sat and talked, however, a tiny, tiny sliver of doubt took root in their hearts: Was it really all right for one's dreams to come true so easily?
And so, when there came a momentary lull in their conversation, the boy said to the girl, "Let's test ourselves - just once. If we really are each other's 100% perfect lovers, then sometime, somewhere, we will meet again without fail. And when that happens, and we know that we are the 100% perfect ones, we'll marry then and there. What do you think?"
"Yes," she said, "that is exactly what we should do."
And so they parted, she to the east, and he to the west.
The test they had agreed upon, however, was utterly unnecessary. They should never have undertaken it, because they really and truly were each other's 100% perfect lovers, and it was a miracle that they had ever met. But it was impossible for them to know this, young as they were. The cold, indifferent waves of fate proceeded to toss them unmercifully.
One winter, both the boy and the girl came down with the season's terrible inluenza, and after drifting for weeks between life and death they lost all memory of their earlier years. When they awoke, their heads were as empty as the young D. H. Lawrence's piggy bank.
They were two bright, determined young people, however, and through their unremitting efforts they were able to acquire once again the knowledge and feeling that qualified them to return as full-fledged members of society. Heaven be praised, they became truly upstanding citizens who knew how to transfer from one subway line to another, who were fully capable of sending a special-delivery letter at the post office. Indeed, they even experienced love again, sometimes as much as 75% or even 85% love.
Time passed with shocking swiftness, and soon the boy was thirty-two, the girl thirty.
One beautiful April morning, in search of a cup of coffee to start the day, the boy was walking from west to east, while the girl, intending to send a special-delivery letter, was walking from east to west, but along the same narrow street in the Harajuku neighborhood of Tokyo. They passed each other in the very center of the street. The faintest gleam of their lost memories glimmered for the briefest moment in their hearts. Each felt a rumbling in their chest. And they knew:
She is the 100% perfect girl for me.
He is the 100% perfect boy for me.
But the glow of their memories was far too weak, and their thoughts no longer had the clarity of fouteen years earlier. Without a word, they passed each other, disappearing into the crowd. Forever.
A sad story, don't you think?
Yes, that's it, that is what I should have said to her.
Taken from: http://www.mat.upm.es/~jcm/murakami-perfect.html
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
I want to start collecting ALL his books. Seriously.
Labels: April, books, inspirational, love-love, summer, summer love, trina
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Give me some good lovin'
Where amazing happens :D
5:48 PM - Thursday, January 15, 2009
I can hardly contain my excitment. As a matter of fact, I won't.
I'm having major palpitations just thinking about it, what more 3 months from now when I'm actually there, front and center (Okay, not really) smelling the sweat of the players, hearing the cheers of crazed fans, eating hotdog and drinking regular Mug rootbeer while... wait for it....
WATCHING THE
SAN ANTONIO SPURS
PLAY LIVE!!!!!!!!!
I was really sprung out of my mind when I found out we were watching the Pacers play against the Pistons, but this is just a whole other level. In fact, this is the highest lever there is (Unless they played against the Lakers with homecourt advantage, but still!)
I don't care if they'll be the "Away" team, I'll be cheering for them loud and proud. hahahaha
Parker, I can't wait to watch you weave your way through your opponents just to get a basket.
Duncan, you are majorly hot even if you're an old timer. You'll always be
the man.
and of course...
Ginobili (Oh Manu!), I can't freaking wait to see you work those magic fingers ;) Now THIS...is where amazing happens.
WHEEEEEEE! :D
Labels: duncan, ginobili, happy-happy, NBA, parker, Spurs, summer, summer love, trina, USA 2009
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Give me some good lovin'
Gossip.
6:29 AM - Saturday, September 13, 2008
Title: Gossip.
There is no "WE" in summer. Only "U" and "ME"
Don't you just love it? haha
Well its been building up inside of me
For oh I don't know how long
I don't know why
But I keep thinking
Something's bound to go wrong
Labels: gossip girl, summer, tv
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Give me some good lovin'
